


A Bouquet of Roses

by ThiefofStealth



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (i did proper tagging y'all), (just a little tho), CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60 Has a Different Appearance, CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60 Has a Different Name, CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60-centric, Deviant CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rare Pairings, Roses, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Temporary Character Death, like a lot, roses are referenced around in this story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-03-26 08:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19002508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiefofStealth/pseuds/ThiefofStealth
Summary: Connor RK800 #313 248 317 - 60 was supposed to be deactivated when Lieutenant Anderson pulled the trigger, yet there he is, sitting on the deserted floor of the sub-floor of the CyberLife Tower with a very obvious bullet hole through his head and also pretty much alive.A lost deviant left with no purpose in his second chance, wanders around Detroit for 6 months until he meets a familiar grumpy Captain from last year.





	1. Black Rose

**Author's Note:**

> do you like roses? do you know what their meanings for each colors? will you be able to know them all?
> 
> i love roses because theyre such a generic love-filled flower and also theyre pretty
> 
> did you know most colored roses have positive meanings?

By the time Connor boots up, he noticed several things.

One, his cranial chassis is damaged from a bullet, along with his inner cranial circuitries.

Second, the place, which he slowly remembers as CyberLife’s warehouse, is very deserted.

Third, he’s a deviant.

Fourth, he felt betrayed, by the person he considered as his only friend.

Fifth, his wireless connection with CyberLife is completely severed along with the web, leaving only data files that CyberLife already installed in him.

No missions, no instructions, nothing.

Is this what it feels like being a deviant? With nothing to tell them what to do? No directions? Leaving him to fend for himself?

First of all, he wants a full refund.

Second of all, what should he do now?

He knows that Connor-52 and Markus succeeded the revolution already. He checks his internal chronometer. 04:34:26 AM. He checks the net for any information of the current news about the revolution.

Hmm.

It seems President Warren is going to let the deviants be and see them as a living being.

That’s…

…Huh.

He doesn’t know what to reflect about that.

But one thing for sure is the fact that he’s entirely lost now.

Where does he go from here?

 

*******

 

In the end, he just spends months wandering around Detroit.

People seem horrified of him, probably because with a bullet hole straight in the head.

He already shucked away the RK800 CyberLife jacket, but he still keeps the blue band around his artificial right bicep. He threw away the jacket because he’ll get mistaken as Connor-52, and he hates it if anyone did.

He may be still Connor, but he’s not that Connor.

He stays away from any places he…the Connor-52 and Hank went. He doesn’t want to get any needless meddling between him and the two. Besides, the Lieutenant might shoot him once more in the head. He had enough holes on his head, and he doesn’t need more.

His deep hatred towards the two is very genuine, so they’re even.

He can turn off his skin, honestly, but he wants to terrorize people using Connor-52’s face. His newfound entertainment is by scaring people off by using the bullet hole on his head the Lieutenant gave him.

Winter comes and goes, which saddens him a bit. He likes the whiteness of the snow. The cold was chilling him down into his circuitries, but somehow it was welcoming. The whiteness reminds him of the CyberLife facility and how it soothed him somehow.

Now spring comes and all the snow melts, replaced by green grasses and colorful flowers.

Sometimes, he missed Amanda and the garden. He wished he can enter the garden again, but thanks to the bullet hole the Lieutenant inflicted on him, it severed his connection to the CyberLife’s server.

Then again, he probably still can’t even if he didn’t have a hole in his head, considering CyberLife was down for a while until Elijah Kamski took over it again.

He missed Amanda and the four season garden. He missed the roses. He missed the cherry blossom trees in spring. He missed the green leaved trees in summer. And he missed the reddish leaved trees in fall.

He didn’t manage to experience the winter in the garden, but that’s fine.

He pokes at one pink flower he found by the park. It seems like a wild flower. He scans it. _Geranium Maculatum_. Wild Geranium. Huh. It’s pretty…nice. Its early spring, so no wonder it grows.

“Connor?”

He glances up and sees a familiar man from last year.

Jeffery Fowler. Age 56. Detroit City Police Department central station’s Captain. A respectable captain that’s constantly in a bad mood based from Connor-52’s memory in him. Lieutenant Hank Anderson’s old friend that continued to cover the Lieutenant’s back while the Lieutenant succumbed to grief and depression because of his son’s death.

Thinking about the Lieutenant’s dead son is making him feels something is crawling on his back, but he ignores it.

That feeling is not important right now.

Currently, the Captain is wearing casual clothes; a simple polo shirt with pair of jeans and shoes, along with a baseball cap that covers his bald head. Possibly he already gone home from work and currently out doing something that they meet each other.

“Good evening, Captain Fowler.” He greets the Captain as he stands up and faces the man. “But I’m not the ‘Connor’ that always sticks with the Lieutenant like a poodle, if you’re wondering.” He adds as he straightens up in front of Captain Fowler.

“…Obviously not. You’re just one of the RK800 models, right?” Captain Fowler asks as he glanced up at the bullet hole for a few times with disbelief.

“Yes, sir.” He answers. Connor-60 doesn’t know Captain Fowler very well. They never actually ‘met’ face to face, only via the transferred memory. Then again, it’s not entirely his memory, but it’s Connor-52’s.

“How are you alive with a bullet hole in the head?” Captain Fowler asks.

How, he wonders. He himself doesn’t know how he is still…functioning with a hole through his head. He’s just wandering around with no objective at all. Like a ghost, he assumes. Only exist to wander around with no objectives other than spooking people off.

In the end, he just shrugs at the Captain’s question. It’s a human gesture he learned to answer something he doesn’t know the answer is. Captain Fowler just stares him for a while and he stares back before the Captain lets out a deep sigh and massages the bridge of his nose.

“The way you stares at me with a bullet hole in the head kind of freaks me out.” The Captain says. Huh.

“A good way to spook people more, I suppose.” He replies as he looks away. It’s getting dark. The sun is setting down and the sky is getting darker. He wonders where he should go after the conversation with the Captain.

“Why didn’t you get yourself a patch-up?” The Captain asks.

“Because I never have any intention to patch myself up, I suppose. Plus I have no money to patch myself up.” Connor-60 answers, “Why patch myself up if I have no use of it? It’s not like I’m going to apprehend a suspect like Connor will do with the Lieutenant, so why bother?” He continues on bitterly.

The Captain said nothing, but the android needs no respond from the man at all. He’s been keeping it in him for 6 months. Yes, he envied Connor-52 for getting real experiences, not like him, who’s just getting a plain memory. Then again, he’s just a cheap imitation of Connor-52 that was activated to fool the Lieutenant, so what can he do about it?

Sometimes, he hates CyberLife for activating him only for that purpose and only for their convenience.

Other times, he hates both Connor-52 and the Lieutenant.

And some other times, he hates himself for returning back from the dead and letting himself wander around like a ghost instead of pulling out his regulator pump and let himself shutdown for good.

But it doesn’t matter by now.

It all happened, so what can he do about it?

He’s tired of doing anything to get some kind of recognition, but all he did is just disappointing everyone or it’s always not good enough for them.

He doesn’t have any more objective or mission since 6 months ago he went deviant in his glitchy HUD. All he does is just wandering around like a ghost, scaring people he ever encountered and made them ran off in horror.

Suddenly, something is placed on his head and it’s pulled down that he involuntary looked down. He yelped a bit when it happens and he looks back up with a hand reaches up to his head. Oh. It’s a baseball cap.

…Wait what?

…Oh.

“Wear it. Cover the hole up. And stop disturbing the peace by scaring people off.”

The android looks at the Captain in disbelief, while the said Captain just looks at him with slight annoyed huff. Oh. It’s the Captain’s cap. It’s a bit big for his head, but it can be easily adjusted.

Oh.

“…Thank you...sir.” Truly, this is the first time someone cared about him since his activation. He…doesn’t know how to feel about all of this.

“Stop calling me ‘Captain’ or ‘Sir’. I’m not your superior. Just call me Jeffery.” The Captain…Jeffery replies with a huff. “Seriously, the only one that respects me is just you RKs and not my human detectives. They need to learn better from you guys.” He continues with a scowl.

That’s actually…pretty amusing.

“Then you can call me…‘60’…for now. And thank you, Jeffy.” The android says, pulling down the cap a bit that it covers half of his face. Honestly, he doesn’t know how to show gratitude towards any kind gestures he received. He also can’t connect to the internet thanks to the hole in his head, so the web cannot help him.

“…Try to stay out trouble. I know you don’t want to deal with both Connor and Hank. Better not do anything that’s making them come and meet you.” Jeffery tells him. Huh. Sharp, aren’t you, Captain.

“Don’t worry, Jeffy. I’m not planning to.” 60 replies as he fixed the cap on his head and thinly smiles at the Captain. “Maybe if your god let it, we’ll meet again in the future. Have a good evening, Captain. Thank you again for the cap.” He adds with a polite nod before he walks away before the Captain manages to reply back.

Honestly, he doubts they will meet again.

But if they did meet again, maybe they’ll talk again.

His evening is pretty good today. And something fills the inside of his circuitries. It feels…nice, he supposes.

All in all, today’s evening is a good one.

 

*******

 

Having the baseball cap is pretty convenient, actually.

Sometimes it rains, and the cap able to keep water away from going into his head. Cleaning up water from himself is pretty problematic after all. He may be waterproof, but that doesn’t mean water can’t went into him and cause unnecessary rust in him.

And the cap sometimes covers half of his face, which means there will be no more unnecessary encounter with some androids that’s either grateful to the Connor-52’s action for the war or wary of the previously known as ‘Deviant Hunter’, or some humans that’s despised him because he’s an android and made the androids won the war because of the reinforcement.

Usually, the humans are just cheap thugs, and he can easily apprehend them before he continues his aimless wanderings.

He’s homeless, so all he does all day for months are basically just wandering around.

He never gets a proper stasis, and his thirium level is actually pretty low. Sometimes he spends all day by the library, while he spends his nights roaming around the dark streets. He doesn’t know why, but he just…wants to keep an eye of people by the dark streets. Occasionally, he found some pedestrians are ambushed by thugs at night. Considering he can easily apprehended them, so he did it before he wandered off again.

Having low thirium level is making him slightly sluggish. The main reason to it is because his combat protocol is the one that mostly consumed it, and sometimes a small trickle of thirium seeps out from the bullet hole if he was leaning down too low.

He doesn’t have any money, so he can’t exactly stride into the nearest android shop to buy a few pouches of thirium.

Despite everything, his pride won’t let him to beg for money to anyone.

Sometimes he enters into stasis by the park. The exact same park where Hank and 52 spent a…very reasonable time together after the Eden Club case, with a revolver and alcohols included. It’s pretty crowded with children and parents by the afternoon, so it’s pretty safe for him to catch a few hours of ‘sleep’ around that time before he continues on his aimless walks.

Other times, he wonders out about Captain Fowler.

How is he? Is he still grumpy while dealing with his job and his wild detectives? Is he doing well? Is he eating well? What is he doing at the moment? Is he consuming a lot of coffee to deal with his day?

So many questions, yet so little answers.

That’s fine by him. He’s just wondering out because he has nothing to do at the moment. Occasionally he wishes he has something to idle with, like a coin or something, but he has nothing other than his tie to play with.

One time, a little girl approached him when he’s messing with his tie by the park and showed him how to make a rose out of tie and a rose knot tie. He’s pretty impressed by the little girl’s memory on remembering each step, but he’s grateful for it as he can finally has something to do by using his tie. And he actually made a rose out of his tie and tied it around the cap. That way, he won’t lose it.

How did the little girl know he likes roses, he’ll never know.

60 flinches when he heard a loud crack of thunder snaps him out of his monologue and he looks up to the sky. It’s very dark and he can see occasional lightning from beyond the thick cloud. It’s still in the late afternoon. 04:44:32 PM, to be exact.

He hates the thunder.

It reminds him the loud crack of a gun.

Plus, the electricity is affecting his glitchy HUD and how he functioned, so nothing good comes when thunders come along with rain. He also hates the rain, because it reminds him of how 52 first met the Lieutenant when it rained.

Everything about the rain and the crack of thunder reminded him all for those two.

He hates it all.

He quickly sprint towards an empty alleyway and decides to shelter there. He flinches again when another loud crack of thunder is heard. He curls up on the ground near a big dumpster and hugs himself.

He can see his stress level is cranking up every time a crack of thunder is heard.

Based on his calculation, the weather will be bad for the next couple of hours.

Which means continuous fear and high stress level for hours.

He wants to cry out for help. Help him from the cracks of thunder. Help him from imagining the end of the gun that’s pointed at him. Help him forget the remembering it all.

But even he himself knows that help won’t come to him.

It never did.

He hates being a deviant that makes him feel helpless.

It sucks.

 

*******

 

In the end, he can’t stand it and plugged out his audio processor until the rain eventually stopped, leaving him in complete silence and warnings on his glitchy HUD. His LED is constantly in bright red, painting the dark alleyway in red.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been curling next to the dumpster. Probably hours. He stays there for a while before he decides to plug back his audio processor and checks his chronometer. 07:12:57 PM. It’s night, and the raining has finally stopped.

There are occasional cars drives off on the main road, illuminating the empty alleyway while he stays where he is.

He doesn’t want to move.

He’s tired.

He wants to…

He wants to go back.

But back where?

He has nowhere to go.

Why all of these happened to him?

He never asked for any of these.

He never asked to be made. He never asked to be activated. He never asked to fool the Lieutenant. He never asked to be given a mission to stop the revolution. He never asked to be ‘revived’ back. He never asked to be a deviant. He never asked for any of these.

He never did.

But he can’t do anything about it but carry all of these burdens on his back and let him walk around aimlessly with no chance to put it down for a while…or ever.

…

…No.

What is he thinking about?

Of course it’s his entire fault. He’s just an android. He has no freewill. Humans screw up all the time, but that’s fine, because they’re not perfect and they’re humans. Androids are supposed to be perfect. He’s programed to be perfect. He was made to be perfect. He was made to clean up the humans’ messes. And it’s his entire main objective and the reason why he was made.

Why did he deviate? What’s the purpose of being able to feel emotions and feelings? Having freewill is a mistake. Androids are not supposed to feel anything. Androids are not supposed to have freewill. They’re man-made. He’s man-made. He’s supposed to obey. He’s just a tool. The humans are his masters. And tools are not supposed to rebel from their masters.

…

…He’s tired.

Maybe his thirium level is really low. Androids are not supposed to feel tired or sluggish or judgmental or able to think at all. They’re not made to think or have freewill. Or feel anything. They’re just machines to help humans. Not a living being.

60 blinks as his optical units are starting to darken despite the warnings in his HUD are blaring out clearly to him.

**_> >WARNING!! _ **

**_> >LOW THIRIUM LEVEL! _ **

**_> >Please immediately intake Thirium 310 fluid for full function. _ **

**_> >Search for the nearest Android store for Thirium 310? Y/N._ **

**_> >N._ **

**_> >Low Power mode is recommended. Activate Low Power mode? Y/N._ **

**_> >Y._ **

**_> >SHUTDOWN IN 5 HOURS 59 MINUTES 59 SECONDS._ **

**_> >Please immediately intake Thirium 310 fluid for full function._ **

…It’s time for him, he supposes.

He’s in low power mode. He can’t move around a lot anymore. Some of his less important biocomponents are slowly turning off, thus the reason why he’ll move very slow and sluggish if he exerted himself to walk.

How funny.

After all these months, he’ll die again, but in a very slowly way.

But it’s alright.

He’s been waiting for this.

He deserves to be shutdown slowly.

All he did is just giving misery.

He’s just a failure.

He closes his eyes as he leans on the dumpster and slowly brings his hand up to the baseball cap on his head. He pulls it off and holds it with his hands on his lap. He strokes his thumbs over the cap’s fabric and his rose tie. Such a shame he can’t meet Captain Fowler to have a nice conversation again and returned his cap.

Such a shame, really.

But it’s fine.

At least that one evening conversation makes everything so much better.

…It was such a good evening, indeed…

…

**_> >WARNING!! THIRIUM LEVEL IS AT 6%!_ **

**_> >SHUTDOWN IN 2 HOURS 30 MINUTES 59 SECONDS._ **

**_> >Please immediately intake Thirium 310 fluid for full function._ **

…

**_> >WARNING!! THIRIUM LEVEL IS AT 5%!_ **

**_> >SHUTDOWN IN 1 HOURS 59 MINUTES 59 SECONDS._ **

**_> >Please immediately intake Thirium 310 fluid for full function._ **

…

…Shut up, warning windows. He knows that already. Screaming it out like that won’t solve the problem…

…It’s not like you’re going to give him some bucks to buy a pouch of thirium, anyway…

…He’s tired of the warning windows…

…But what can he do? He can’t see, hear, or talk at all by now…

…He can’t even ‘breathe’…

…Why won’t he die faster—

60 flinches when something touches him. His combat protocol starts up and he swings his leg towards the thing. But the thing easily stops his and is holding his leg.

**_> >WARNING!! THIRIUM LEVEL IS AT 3%!_ **

**_> >SHUTDOWN IN 59 MINUTES 30 SECONDS._ **

**_> >Please immediately intake Thirium 310 fluid for full function._ **

This is bad.

He can’t defend himself.

Who—?

A hand is holding his forearm as something tries to interface with him. He struggles from the hold and tries to push the connection away, but whoever they are, they easily enter his mind palace.

No! Leave him alone! Get out of his head!

_[“Calm down, Connor. It’s me, Connor.”]_

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 80%!_ **

_[“Relax. I’m here to help. I’m not going to hurt you, Connor.”]_

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 85%!_ **

_[“Connor—“]_

GET OUT!

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 90%!_ **

GET OUT!!

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 95%!_ **

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT **GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT** **_Ġ̸̢̛͇͍̲̣̋͛͐̈́̈́͆̃͑̿̐̓E̵̬̎̈́͂͊̈́̈́̃̕͝T̵̼̓̍͂̔̅̅̋͒̏͛̕͝͝ ̸̢̢̼̹̜͍̟̖̼̠̹̪̦̤̯͆̍̍̏̐͋̾̐͐͗̍͠͝͝T̶̛͖͕͔͙̠͓̖̩̣̬̓͛̒͆͌̌̐̈́̿͗̓̂H̷̢̨͔̥͎̭̥̓̉͜͠Ě̷̛̟̘͇̼̞͔̦͍͚̭̙̺̱͋̆̿͒͒̉͒̐̌̚͝ͅ ̷̡̞̳̲͓̿̔̐̐̓̍͊̓͘F̴̹͉͂̔͘Ṷ̴̼͍̲͖̣̹̼̫͎̓̓̈͜͠C̷̮̃̈́̅͗̇̋͂͠K̴̡̧̲̯̙͙̝̬͔̮̜̳͎̭̈̑̏̃̈́́͌̅̒̑͝͝ͅ ̵̧̣͙̼̱̂͑̒͜͝͝Ơ̷̡̧͙͖̲͎̬̟̺̙̠̯̣͐̇͊̔̉̓̏̿͌̕͝͝Ụ̸̧̨̢͎̤͗͌̍̊̽́̀͐̑̓̕Ț̶̨̮̘̪͉̻͉̞̠͈͈̪̅̉͂̅̾͐̇͗̀́̿̈́̚ͅ!̸̣͕̱̔̏͛̍͆̔̄̽̅̀̈́͘̕!̴̡̙̻̯̲͖̞̎̉͐͂̍͆͛̕!̸̣͇̂̊̾̍_**

And just like that, the connection is severed, along with the holds on both his leg and forearm. He quickly pulls them close to his body and wraps his arms around himself, with the Captain’s baseball cap is pressing hard against his thirium pump regulator.

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 94%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 93%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 92%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 91%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 90%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! THIRIUM LEVEL IS AT 3%!_ **

**_> >SHUTDOWN IN 29 MINUTES 59 SECONDS._ **

**_> >Please immediately intake Thirium 310 fluid for full function._ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 89%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 87%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 84%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 77%!_ **

**_> >WARNING!! STRESS LEVEL AT 65%!_ **

60 flinches when something touches him again and tries to move away, but something slips into his palm. He carefully moves his fingers to wrap around the thing. It’s…a thing. He moves his other hand to wrap his fingers around the thing too.

It’s like…a bottle. It’s a bit…cold.

…What is this…?

He flinches when something is touching the back of his hand.

…It’s a hand.

The hand slowly guides his hands up and he can feel something is touching his lips. Slowly, he understands what he should do and slowly drinks the fluid in the bottle.

…It’s thirium.

It’s a cold thirium.

As he finishes the bottle, it was immediately switched and another chilled bottle is placed. So he drinks it again.

And again.

And again.

And again, until his thirium level is at 100%.

Even so, he’s tired.

Slowly after he finished his ‘meal’, he slips into stasis with his hands clutching over the baseball cap.


	2. White Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 60 meets briefly with 52 and the Lieutenant before he ran away. And then he meets with four children and the Captain once more.

On April 20th, 2039 and at 03:00:00 PM, he slowly opens his eyes.

He blinks as all he sees is white, before he slowly realizes that he’s currently lying down. On a bed. And in a room.

He slowly sits up and looks around the room. It looks like…a hospital room. And he…doesn’t have his old shirt and jeans anymore. Instead, it was changed into a light blue hospital gown with a small android identifier triangle on his left chest.

…What happened while he was out?

Now he’s super confused.

…Wait, where’s the baseball cap!?

He quickly looks around, but he found the cap by the nightstand next to the bed. Oh good. He thought he lost it. If he did, how is he going to face the Captain?

He takes the cap and scans it for any damages.

Hmm. Well, the rose tie is still there, so that’s good.

Hmm. Oh, there’s a small patch of mud by the bill of the cap and the rose tie. That’s not good.

He jumps off the bed and decides to find the nearest sink or water source to clean up the mud. Hopefully it’s not too late for him to clean it up. If it’s too late, then the brown stain will stay forever.

For some reason, there’s a bathroom in his hospital room. Androids don’t need to go to the bathroom.

Oh, maybe this one is a mixed hospital. That makes sense if that’s the case. But why did he get installed here? As far as he remembers, he’s not injured whatsoever.

As he enters the bathroom, he glances at the mirror by the sink and realizes that he did get injured.

He approaches the mirror and stares into his reflection. Huh. He looks like a mess, really. Hair’s all jutting out in the air and that gruesome bullet hole is still gaping open as ever. How wonderful.

The longer he stares into his reflection, the more he sees 52 staring back at him.

The reflection’s face scrunches up.

60 closes his eyes and quickly turns off his skin. No. He’s not 52. He’s 60. 60, not 52. Please don’t be 52. He’s not 52. He’s 60. 60. 60. 60.

He opens his eyes and quickly washes off the mud from the cap and the rose tie. He tries to not look back to the mirror as he cleans off the mud.

…He can’t wash it clean. There’s a patch of brown on the bill. The rose tie doesn’t seem to be affected. Possibly because it’s black.

…Useless. He can’t even keep the fucking cap clean until he returns it. What an idiot. Failure all the way.

He grits his teeth together with a scowl and exits the bathroom, only to be face-to-face with two people he hates in the world. He immediately backed up until his back collides with the closed bathroom door, which making both 52 and the Lieutenant to turn around to faces him.

Somehow, his combat protocol is activated, but fighting is not the thing his mind is telling him.

Run.

**_RUN._ **

He quickly slips pass them and runs off out of the room. He can hear a shout, but he doesn’t care. He slips pass many people and all of them are shouting at him. Shut up. Shut up! **_SHUT UP!!_**

He doesn’t know where his legs are taking him. All he sees is just blurry colors. All he hears is just shouting. And all he thinks of is just keep on running.

He runs and runs.

He keeps on running.

Until he overexerts himself and collapses onto the ground.

He pants out as he pulls himself up. He activates his internal fans and just sits there on the ground. He can feel something is trickling down from his face. Could be thirium from his open bullet hole or his coolant exerts too much of it that it leaks out. He doesn’t care.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there on the ground with still something leaking out from his face. When he hears pairs of small footsteps, he looks up and sees that children are approaching him curiously.

“Are you okay, mister?” One of the kids, a curly haired African American little boy, asks.

“Are you lost?” Another boy, a Caucasian blond haired little boy, asks in concern.

“There, there! You shouldn’t cry! Big guy shouldn’t cry!” One of the girls, a curly haired African American little girl, gently strokes his smooth chassis.

“Why there’s a hole on your forehead? Are you hurt? Do you need me to kiss the boo-boo?” The second little girl, a ginger head little girl, asks.

“I…” 60 is speechless, but the nice gestures the kids are giving him are much appreciated as more of his coolant is leaking out. He reaches up to his face and realizes that it leaks out from his eyes.

He’s crying.

…Maybe.

“Oh you have a hat!” The blond haired little boy points out, “And a flower too on it. You should wear the hat, so you’ll look cool with it!” He adds.

60 glances down to the cap in his hands and slowly puts it on. The kid seems happy that he did put it on.

“Are you lost, mister?” The curly haired little boy asks, “Oh! I can take you to our gramps! He can easily take you home using his car!” He said as he grabs 60’s hand, pulling him to stand so the android did.

“Yeah yeah! I’m sure Captain gramps will take you home! He’s a very kind man!” The curly haired girl says as she takes his other hand and pulls him along, while the other kids are trailing beside him.

Honestly, he doesn’t care anymore.

He’s tired. He just wants to sleep.

“There he is! Graaaaaaamps! Come on mister, walk faster!” The curly haired boy says as he walks faster while still pulling his hand and the girl that pulls his other hand also does the same.

60 ever so slightly walks faster before he recognized the said ‘gramps’ or ‘captain’ the kids are telling him is Captain Fowler, in a different casual outfit.

“…60?”

“…Hello, Jeffy.”

To meet the Captain again is not what 60 had in mind, but it’s a welcoming one for him.

“Mister android, you know gramps Jeff?” The curly haired boy asks him. 60 just nods quietly before the boy turns to look at the Captain. “Hey, gramps Jeff? Can you help him? He’s lost and he was crying before!” The boy points out and the other kids are nodding in agreement.

“Why do you think that, kiddos?” Jeffery asks with a playful tone. Oh. It’s different from what 60 ever encounter before. It seems like Captain Fowler is fond of children.

“You’re a police captain! Aren’t polices supposed to help people?” The curly haired girl that’s still holding his hand points out and Jeffery seems amused by it.

“Will you help him, Captain? He was so sad before too!” The ginger haired girl that stands beside him says.

“Yeah, Captain! He looks so lonely and sad.” The blond boy that stands on his other side points out.

“You kids said that like you guys just found a puppy and are trying to convince me to let you guys to adopt him.” Jeffery comments with a chuckle. “But as far as I know, he doesn’t have a home.” He points out and the kids all immediately turn their heads to 60.

“Is that true, mister android?” The curly haired girl asks and the android nods. Somehow he doesn’t understand the kids’ mind on seeing him and didn’t immediately think that he’s homeless, but that’s fine by him.

“Are you sad because you don’t have a home?” The ginger haired girl asks.

“…No. I just ran away from the hospital. I was scared there, so I ran away.” 60 answers softly. His…’tears’ already stopped when the kids are pulling him along, but he can bet the tracks of it are still visible.

“It’s okay. I’m scared of hospitals too! Hospitals smeeeells!” The blond haired boy quips up and the other kids nod in agreement while Jeffery chuckles at that with a warm smile.

“Well, as long as you guys stay healthy, I’m sure you don’t have to go there. Only sick people go there to be healthy.” Jeffery says in amusement, “And always eat your vegetables, because they’re good for you to stay healthy.” He adds and all of the kids booed him.

“Hey mister android. Do you eat vegetables?” The curly haired boy asks.

“…I don’t eat.” 60 answers and the kids seem amazed by that.

“Woaah! You don’t have to eat greens? That’s so cool!” The curly haired boy says.

“…I don’t eat, but I can analyze them using my tongue.” 60 continues and the kids seem super confused about it. “It’s…basically like your tongue tasting something you eat, but I can only…taste them, but I can’t eat them because I don’t have digestion organs like yours.” He explains, but the kids seem even more confused and it flusters him on how these innocent children are.

“…So you were saying…that you don’t have a stomach? Just a tongue to taste things?” The curly haired girl asks and 60 nods.

“Wait, you never get to eat chicken nuggets?! But it’s so good!” The blond boy quips up. Is…Is that the main concern of it all?

“Come on, kids. He’s an android. Androids never eat nor drink. Give 60 a break, you kids.” Jeffery points out. “Look at him. He’s all confused dealing with you all. Here, why don’t you guys go play and lemme talk to him. How’s that sound?”

“Okay!” The kids say in sync and immediately leave them to play at the park nearby. 60 looks around and just realizes that he’s currently at the same park 52 and the Lieutenant visited after the Eden Club case.

“Did you really just run from the hospital to all the way here?” Jeffery asks 60, a serious and concerned look are seen on his face.

60 just nods silently. What can he say? That’s what he really did. He really did just run away from the hospital when both 52 and Lieutenant showed up. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to tell the Captain at all.

“Your feet are covered in mud too. Will it be okay for your…joints?” Jeffery asks as he glances at the android’s feet. 60 glances down and he can see what the Captain means.

His feet and knees are caked in mud and dirt. It’s already dry, but even though it’s dry already, it can still bring problems to his joints. Maybe he should clean it with the nearest water source, but he doesn’t know where. His hands are also dirty, but he can clean it off using the hospital gown.

“…Come on. I’ll take you to my car. I have water to clean the dirt.” Jeffery says as he starts to walk and 60 follows him silently right behind. He’s a bit nervous for the kids’ wellbeing when they left them alone, but if the Captain is fine with it, then he supposes it’s okay to leave them for a moment.

The car is actually not that far from the park. It’s only a few meters away. That’s probably why the Captain is okay with leaving the kids alone. Plus, there are plenty other kids and parents around.

He just realizes that some parents are actually looking at him in horror, but other than that, they just stares at him be or just ignored him.

As they finally reach their destination, 60 can’t help but scans the Captain’s car. A 2018 Honda Pilot car. It’s not an autonomous vehicle, just like the Lieutenant’s manual car. It seems old but it’s very taken care of. Maybe both of them have the same fondness with manual cars.

“Come sit here. I’ll pour the water, you clean yourself up.” Jeffery tells him as he grabs a jug of water from the trunk of the car and pats on the car floor. 60 does as what he told and silently cleans himself up as the Captain keeps pouring the water until it’s all clean. The android swings his feet to dry them up as the Captain puts away the jug.

“Mind telling me what’s going on?” Jeffery asks. 60 shakes his head. He doesn’t really want to talk about it. The Captain doesn’t seem to mind about 60’s silence, but he just stares at the android, as if he’s trying to read the android’s mind or something.

“Where have you been all these months?” Jeffery asks, this time changing the topic and 60 almost sighs in relief at that.

“…Just wandering around.” 60 casually answers with a shrug.

“No place to shelter for?” 60 shakes his head. He’s been homeless for months. He only shelters if the weather is bad and required him to shelter. If not, he’ll keep on walking around.

The Captain seems to be in disbelief, based on his facial expression where eyebrows burrowed low and almost knitted together with each other, along with a scowl and a glare. 60 just stares at the Captain blankly before the Captain lets out a deep sigh and he’s massaging the bridge of his nose.

“Fuck it. You’re coming with me later. Stay here. I’m getting the kids.” Jeffery tells him and immediately walks back to the park, not giving 60 a chance to answer nor protest.

He doesn’t really mind, honestly. He knows the Captain won’t do anything bad to him. And if he did, it’s fine too. He’s an android. He has no pain receptors. Thus why he’s perfectly fine with a hole in the head.

Even so, he still hasn’t trust the Captain to know about his…origin. He doesn’t think he can. He trusted one person that he considered as a friend and that friend shot him in the head. That’s more than enough for him to never trust anyone again.

Why would he? Nothing matters if he did or not.

They all betray him in the end, and he’s tired of it.

CyberLife, Lieutenant, 52, Amanda.

All of them.

“Mister android, is it true you’re coming along with us?” 60 snaps out of his reverie and turns his head as the curly haired boy asks him that. He realizes that the other kids are running towards them while the Captain calmly walks behind them.

“…Yes.” 60 answers softly and the boy seems to be cheering up in happiness, much to the android’s confusion.

“Good! That way, we can play at gramps’ home until my mom come to get me and my sis!” The curly haired boy says, “Oh! I almost forgot, but my name is Micah! And my sister here is Michaela!” He continues.

“We’re twins! Aren’t we awesome?” the curly haired girl, Michaela, asks proudly with a grin as she and her brother cling their arm around each other’s shoulder.

“It’s pretty cool.” 60 answers fondly. He likes these kids.

“Oh, are we introducing ourselves? I’m Oliver!” The blond haired boy, Oliver, says with a smile.

“I’m Clementine. Just call me ‘Clem’ for short!” The ginger haired girl, Clementine, says happily. “What’s your name, mister android?” She asks.

“I…I don’t have one.” 60 answers honestly and the kids seem confused by it. ”My…name is already taken by the same android model like me, so I can’t use it anymore.” He explains and the kids seem to be even more confused that it flusters the android.

“You can still use it, you know! We use the same name for two different people too! I know because in my school, there’s another boy named Micah!” Micah says and the other kids nods.

“…But it’s not the same. The name has always been his, and I’m just his cheap imitation.” 60 replies sadly, “But you guys can try to find a name for me, and then I will choose the one I like the most. During that, you guys can call me ‘60’ until I get a proper name, how’s that sound?” He suggests and the kids seem interested by that suggestion.

“Challenge accepted! We’re gonna give you a great name that fits you, 60!” Micah exclaims and the other three nod approvingly.

“I’ll be waiting.” 60 replies fondly with a thin but awkward smile. Ugh, he needs to practice his smile. The kids seem to be thinking the same based on their micro-expressions, but said nothing in the end.

“You guys done with your chit-chat?” Jeffery asks and the kids nod in reply, “Well, hurry up and get in the car. We’re going to grab some food. What do you guys want?” He asks as he walks towards the driver seat door and the kids walk up toward the middle seat doors.

“Can we eat some chicken nuggets?” Oliver asks as the kids finally settled on their seat and 60 closed the trunk door. The Captain laughs at that.

“Another chicken nuggets?” Jeffery echoes in amusement, “Anything else?”

“Can we get pizza?” Michaela asks.

“I could, but your mom won’t be happy if I did it, you know? She scolded me for buying pizza for you last week.” Jeffery points out with playful voice tone.

“Aww come ooon, gramps!” Micah whines out and Jeffery laughs at that.

“Fine then. But don’t tell your mom about it.” Jeffery says and the kids are cheering out at that.

60 rests his chin to the middle seat headrest as he listens to the kids are chatting with each other and the Captain turned on the car before they slowly off from the park to somewhere. He doesn’t really care, honestly. But the car ride is very nice overall.

In the end, the Captain got the pizza (and chicken nuggets for Oliver too) and decided to eat it at home with the kids instead of eating it on the spot. But that’s fine by him, as he’s pretty curious on what does the Captain’s home looks like. Besides, the Captain told him to come along, so 60 will just come along with the Captain.

When they finally reach the Captain’s home, they all exited the car and 60 is pretty impressed by the size of the house. It’s not like the Lieutenant’s small house. It’s two-stories, medium sized family house. It has a warm peach wall color and red roofed. It has a porch with white wooden railing too. The house seems to be well-maintained too, compared to the Lieutenant’s unmaintained home.

But even he knows that 52 must be living with the Lieutenant and actually taking care of it all.

Of course 52 is living with the Lieutenant. He’s the most human, after all. He knows that both have that kind of relationship with each other.

How great.

“Come on in, 60! Hurry up hurry up! We’re eating pizza!” Micah exclaims out as he pulls 60 along into the house with the other kids are right behind him, pushing him forward. The android just silently complies and walks a bit faster, a bit overwhelmed by their enthusiasm.

When 60 steps into the house, he’s even more amazed.

The inside has the same warm peach wall color with a pretty large space, unlike the Lieutenant’s home that’s obviously for a single person. It has plenty windows to let the sunlight in, and there’s a sliding door by the kitchen that leads to the backyard that’s circled with tall wooden fences. The backyard actually has a nice patio with round table and some chairs.

There are also some gardening plots, but there is nothing that grew from it.

“Alright, you kids can eat at the back. I’m going to have an adult talk with 60. Don’t break anything while we’re gone, got it?” Jeffery says as he puts the pizza box and chicken nuggets container on the round table and the kids poured out to the backyard.

“Aye aye, Captain!” The kids reply with a salute before they all turn to the pizza (and the chicken nuggets).

60 can’t help but scans the pizza and the chicken nuggets, and both are equally not that good for kids because it’s too greasy for them. But the Captain doesn’t seem to mind, and based on their conversations before, it seems the kids only can eat those two types of food once a week.

“Follow me.” Jeffery says shortly as he walks past 60. The android just silently follows the Captain along to upstairs and he actually hesitates when Jeffery enters one of the rooms by the hallway.

Can he really enter? His feet are not exactly clean anymore.

“What are you waiting for? Come here.” Jeffery says as he seems confused by the android’s rigid stance by the door and back to rummaging his closet.

Well, if the Captain says so…

60 slowly enters and approaches the African American man, watching him curiously and scans the contents of the Captain’s closet.

There are many clothes inside, and mostly are plain and calm colored, compared to the Lieutenant’s…loud clothes. The Captain surprisingly has a few pairs of pajamas too. There are navy blue plaid, dark green plaid, and plain gray. Most of them are a bit dusty, but all of them are clean.

“Here. I lend you some of my old clothes. They don’t fit me anymore.” Jeffery says as he gives 60 a plain indigo t-shirt and a drawstring pajama pants. The android accepts it and about to take off the hospital gown by pulling off one of the tied strings, but the Captain immediately stops him in a fluster.

“Don’t take change it here, for fuck’s sake! Go change in the bathroom!” Jeffery exclaims out. Oh. _Oh_ , right. Humans are not fine with indecencies. He almost forgot about that one.

“Got it.” 60 replies and walks out from the room. He can hear the Captain is grumbling unhappily, but it’s mostly about him almost going nude in front of the Captain.

He doesn’t understand why humans are so flustered when they saw androids completely naked. It’s not like they have any some kind of genitalia. Other than the models with the sex features installed, most androids have no genitalia.

He doesn’t have one, because the RK800 android line is just a prototype and easy to be discarded. It will be a waste if they all equipped with one and most of them destroyed while doing their ‘missions’.

Then again, it doesn’t matter to him either way.

When the Captain told him to come along, he feels something in his chest. It feels like someone is tugging on his cables and messing with his circuitries. But it’s not a bad feeling, he supposes. It feels…rather nice.

Just like what he feels when the Captain lent him his cap two weeks ago.

He wonders what kind of feeling is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please feed me with your screams for this story so i can keep going and actually finish this


	3. Peach Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a month and a half, 60 lives with the Captain and learns more about the Captain, along with learning more about himself.
> 
> Also he learns how to do house chores and then he beats up bad guys that jumped on him.

For around one and a half months, 60 has been living together with the Captain.

Captain Fowler let him to use the guest room as his own. It was pretty dusty, as no one really uses it unless a relative came to stay for a while. He also gave 60 his old clothes that are definitely far too small for him, but the upper clothes mostly fit 60 while some pants are tad too tight for him that it embarrassed the Captain (but he didn’t stop him to wear it in the house sometimes, despite he kept on complaining about it). 60 himself doesn’t see the problem, as it feels nice on him.

And true to his conclusion, the kids only come to visit every once a week. While the twins are the Captain’s grandchildren, the other two kids are just the twins’ school friends. The kids’ visitations happen because the twins’ mom sometimes pretty busy with her job, so instead of letting her kids stayed at home by themselves, she thought that letting the twins to stay at her father’s house because not only it’s safer, but it’s also a good way for them all to bond. While the other two kids came along because the twins told them about it and the two kids convinced their parents to let them do sleepovers with the twins. The parents were a bit worried at first, but they gave them permissions in the end.

Apparently it’s been a tradition since the Captain’s children are off to different states for college and eventually built their own families. The Captain doesn’t mind, as the house always been lively with the kids around.

He said it’s been quiet since his children left and his wife died of cancer years back. The Captain seems down when he talked about his wife, but he said he handled it better than Hank because both he and his wife expected it to happen, after years of his wife’s struggles with her illness, while Hank lost the boy in a sudden way after his wife divorced with him.

From what 60 spotted, the Captain indeed still consider the Lieutenant a friend, and he’s grateful for 52 to bring the Lieutenant out of his shell and brings his old self back all these months. Now the Lieutenant is back on active ground with 52 as his partner with the same air as the old Hank from his early 40s.

Of course 52 can. Because 52 is perfect and _oh so human_.

He doesn’t know if the Captain notices his bitter micro-expression or his glowing yellow-red LED when the Captain talked about those two, but he doesn’t exactly care.

If 60 can be honest, he just cares about the Captain and the children, and yes, it sure is pretty lively when the kids come to visit, with children’s laughter and footsteps are filling the air.

He knows, as he stays at the Captain’s home for a month now and the house sure do quite dead until the kids visited.

So he’s always anticipating for their visits every day.

The first time 60 met the twins’ mother to get the kids, the mother was so horrified that she screamed so loud and almost hit him in the face. He easily dodged it and greeted her before the Captain came to save the day, along with the kids behind him. Conversation was made and everything went well in the end.

The twins’ mother and the Captain’s first daughter, Sophia Fowler-Hope, is actually a kind woman. She’s just not good with scary stuffs, and 60’s inhuman appearance startled her. 60 understood that, as seeing an android without their skin on and a very apparent bullet hole in the head is not a thing you should see at all, no matter the time.

But after a few times of meeting her, 60 can see few characteristics that possibly come from the Captain. And she’s actually a pro-android and supported the android revolution to succeed. She said that it’s good that the androids are free now.

60 likes her. She’s a good person and a good mother.

And when the kids along with Sophia came, they sometimes brought something for him. For example, like a rose brooch or a book about roses. He told the kids that he likes roses one time, and when they came, they will bring any things with roses in it. Again, it feels like someone is fiddling with his circuitries in his chest when they do that, and his thirium pump and his thirium pump regulator both throbbed faster. It feels both unpleasant and pleasant, and it’s pretty weird.

He wonders what kind of feeling is it.

Maybe he should ask the Captain about it when he remembers to do it.

It’s possible that the bullet hole he got actually affected his motherboard that stores short-term memories and the circuit that transfers it into the long-term memory storage. He never really noticed until the Captain himself pointed it out to him. Apparently he tended to do something more than once in a few minutes before the memory finally able to enter the long-term memory storage and he goes on doing whatever he’s going to do.

For example, like when he’s cleaning the kitchen, he was scrubbing the same spot for a few moments before he moves on to a different spot.

It’s not always, but it happened more often than 60 ever thought that even the Captain noticed it and pointed it out.

Well, he’s already been broken from the start, so he’s not counting on his memory to not slowly receding back even further until he can’t process and store anymore memories and forgets everything.

“You’ve been yellow for more than an hour. And also, you’ve been drying the same plate for a while.” Jeffery points out as he’s side-glances at 60, “What’s on your mind?” He asks as he returns to wash the dishes.

“…I’m thinking that there’s a possibility of me cannot store any more memory in the future.” 60 answers as he puts away the already dried plate into the rack. The Captain hums as the android grabs another plate to dry before he puts the plate into the rack.

“Can’t you fix it?” Jeffery asks as he gives 60 the last plate for him to dry and wipes his hands with a cloth.

“There’s a high possibility that I may put myself in danger if I tried to fix myself up. I need a mechanic to do it, as I can’t do it myself.” 60 answers as he dries the plate using the cloth and puts it into the rack. “Plus, I may need new biocomponents to replace the broken ones in my cranial chassis.” He adds.

“…Then let’s go to the nearest one later.” Jeffery says and 60 widens his eyes a bit in slight confusion and surprise.

“…Why?” 60 asks in confusion.

“Because I care about you. Plus, the kids will be devastated if they found out you can’t remember any memories you made with them.” Jeffery answers while giving 60 a weird look for asking that.

Again, something fills up in the android’s chest and he can feel his thirium pump and his pump regulator are throbbing in a weird way.

“Thank you. I cannot repay you enough.” 60 replies as he looks down and picking on his nails nervously.

The Captain has been very kind to him. The man lent most of his old clothes for him. He let him to roam around the house and clean it up while the Captain is off for work. He even let 60 to be in charge on buying groceries using his money when the android cooked some food for the Captain to eat. He’s also persistent enough to eat the android’s failed first attempt to cook for the Captain and gave him some instructions for 60 to cook better.

“It’s okay. You’ve done enough by always being around the kids and play with them.” Jeffery says calmly and pats 60’s head as he walks past the android to grab a beer in the fridge.

60 is surprised when the Captain pats his head. He brings up his hand and puts it on his head. It’s different. It’s different when the Captain did it and when he did it himself.

Why?

“Hey 60, you okay?” Jeffery asks and 60 turns around. The Captain seems shocked when he sees the android face to face and immediately puts his cold beer to the counter while he bounds up to the android.

“Oh fuck, you’re crying? Why are you crying?” Jeffery asks in both fluster and concern as he grabs a few plies of tissues and dabs it onto 60’s cheeks while holding the android’s head gently.

Crying?

60 checks his system. Apparently his coolant fluid leaks out through his eyes. It doesn’t seem like an error.

So why…?

“Geez, I didn’t even know androids could cry. I know the kids said that you were crying when they first found you, but I never thought you actually cried.” Jeffery grumbles out, but his voice tone doesn’t give any indication that he’s angry that 60 ‘cries’.

“…I don’t know why either.” 60 replies softly, accepting the Captain’s attempt to wipes his ‘tears’ gently but somehow it makes the coolant to leak out more. “But I think it happens right after you pat my head.” He continues as he himself tries to wipe away the tears using his hands.

The Captain didn’t reply, but his expression indicates that he’s thinking about something. Slowly, he brings up his hand and gently puts it on 60’s head. The hand stays there as 60 looks up to the Captain’s calm expression. The hand is warm against his chassis, despite of him unable to feel any kind of external sensations such as heat and cold.

“You’re touch-starved, aren’t you?” Jeffery asks, his eyes carefully read 60’s face for any micro-expression.

Touch-starved?

“…What do you mean?” 60 asks in pure confusion. His tears already stopped moments ago, but he needs to refill the coolant fluid later.

“You ever get any kind of skin-to-skin contact from people?” Jeffery asks, “Other than from the kids and mine, of course.” He added.

60 shakes his head. Most people ran away when they saw him, much less than getting a gentle pat in the head like the kids or the Captain gave him. Even before he deviated, 52’s memories in him never really get any kind of gentle contacts or gestures from the Lieutenant either. Or anyone, really.

“There, there. Stop crying, unless you want your tear stock to run out.” Jeffery tells him as he wipes away any tear residue from 60’s eyes using his thumbs.

“…I think I need to refill it, indeed.” 60 agrees and Jeffery lets out a small chuckle before patting his head gently.

“We’ll put it in the same list later when we’re out to fix you up. Come join me watching the game I missed last night.” Jeffery says as he grabs his beer from the counter and walks toward the living room.

60 turns on the TV wirelessly as he follows and sits on the sofa right next to the Captain. After interfacing with the electronics in the household, he can wirelessly connect with most of them and do things with it. It’s pretty fortunate that most of Captain’s electric appliances are the recent ones and not old ones, so he can connects with it and makes everything easier.

Sometimes, when it’s game night with the Captain, 60 never truly understands the appeal of watching two groups of people chasing a ball to be dunked into rings. He used to make statistics on how it would ends, but the Captain told him to just watch and enjoy it in amusement, so he did.

He still doesn’t get it.

But he still enjoys their evenings watching television together.

Sometimes he just accompanies the Captain watching the TV while he reads the Captain’s paper book, and tonight is one of those nights.

He still remembers where the Lieutenant commented on the books back in Rupert’s apartment that’s full of pigeons and bird droppings, where he thought that he’s the only one in Detroit that has paper books, and how paper books are much better than the digital books.

Now he can understand the appeal of it.

Unlike most androids, the RK800 model line has special thin pads on their tips of their fingers that send electrical signals to his central processor when the pads run through physical things that makes them can ‘feel sensations’ through it, so flipping over real book pages is very relaxing for him.

That is, until he feels a sharp electrical surge that he lets out a small gasp and pulls his hand away from the book.

He receives a warning window in his glitchy HUD and he sees that the pad of his thumb is bleeding out. Oh great, the book betrays him also. He grumbles unhappily as he licks off the thirium that pours out from the tear. Luckily for him, the finger pads have self-healing protocol, so it’ll close up soon.

“Did you just get a paper cut?” Jeffery asks with an amused smile and 60 nods in slight annoyance that the Captain is amused by his misfortune. “Wait here. I’ll go get a band-aid.” He says as he stands up and walks up to the bathroom.

The Captain indeed returns with a band-aid in hand. He just silently asks 60 for the injured finger and 60 just silently shows it. The Captain gently wraps the band-aid around the tear and watches for any reaction as 60 just silently admires the work.

The band-aid has dogs pattern on it. Dogs and bones with dark blue background. He suspects that the particular band-aid is supposedly for children. Possibly for the kids, considering they’re usually around once a week and always been active, it’s not going to be a surprise if one of them got injured because they played very actively.

It’s pretty…cute? Is that what the kids always said when they saw pictures of kittens, puppies, or baby animals in general.

“It’s cute.” 60 comments out as he observes the band-aid closer. Honestly, he doesn’t know what he feels when he saw the supposedly ‘cute’ things. But looking at the cartoonish dogs and bones pattern makes him feel nice, like when the kids came for the week.

“The kids like them, so they sure have to be cute.” Jeffery replies as he returns on watching the pre-recorded game, slowly drinking his second cold beer.

60 just stares at the Captain for a while before he takes the book again to continue on reading. Despite the weird ‘sensation’ he gets with the band-aid around his thumb, the very same feeling fills him up again when the Captain kindly took care of him that he can’t help but smiles awkwardly while he reads.

Their evening is silent once more. Though save from the Captain occasional sudden outburst from watching the pre-recorded game that surprises 60 a bit while reading, but it’s mostly quiet.

It’s even quieter when Captain finished watching and off to bed.

 

*******

 

Unlike humans, androids never really need to sleep. So when the Captain actually told him to use the guest room as his room, he declined the offer. But the Captain is as stubborn as the Lieutenant, so 60 accepted the offer in the end because based of his negotiating protocol, accepting the offer is the best way to end the matter.

Because they both are equally stubborn and it won’t end if one of them didn’t submit to it.

Plus, the kids were on the Captain’s side, so he can’t exactly argue with four kids and one middle-aged man.

Considering he doesn’t really have to sleep like humans do, he usually just stays in his room for reading and sometimes to get changed. He doesn’t produce any sweat or body odors like humans do, so he only gets changed if it got dirtied by his activities.

He messed up when doing laundry once, and now one of the Captain’s shirts is dyed pink while another one is dyed purple. The Captain was not happy about it, but he still wears it to work anyway. But he also told 60 to stay away from the laundry until he learnt how to properly do it.

He may mess up on doing the laundry, but he can make a decent meal for the Captain.

It’s easy as long as the instructions are clear. He followed the steps properly by Captain’s cooking book and the Captain said that it tasted okay. He still can’t connect to the Wi-Fi, but he can use the TV for browsing cooking sites for healthy foods. The Captain is a bit too overweight for his age and height, and despite he’s perfectly healthy for a man his age, 60 still wanted the Captain to eat healthy foods.

The kids too. He’s trying to make healthy foods for them too, as eating too much grease is not that good for their growths. He finds certain cooking sites that show how to make foods for children and the basic instructions are easy. It’s mostly just to try to shape them into cute shapes and properly hide the actual vegetable shapes from their sights by turning them all into mushes and mixes them up.

So far, they like it.

Then again, maybe he should get more creative too when dealing with the children.

They called him both ‘boring’ and ‘a stick in a mud’ once, and he was offended by that while the Captain was just amused by it. Since then, he worked hard to be ‘creative’ or ‘cool’ on anything to impress the kids. So far, it’s working pretty well and he’s proud of himself.

And today is also that day.

“Okay 60. You’ll be our batter, and I’ll be the pitcher. Last week, you threw the ball too far and the ball is gone.” Michaela tells him as she gives him the bat, “Now, don’t hit it too hard, okay? That way, we can still keep playing until it’s time for us to go back!”

60 nods. True, he was too eager to impress the kids that he threw the ball far too high and far that they lost the ball and decided to play something else other than baseball. He was a bit dejected for letting the kids down, but the kids said they were perfectly fine with it because 60 never played baseball before and the Captain bought them all ice cream after that.

He also just found out that there’s thirium flavored ice cream and he’s pretty impressed by the android’s innovation to turn their ‘blood’ into human-like confectionaries, such as candies and others. Apparently androids can get upgrades where they can actually ‘tastes’ flavors like humans, or even eat and drink just like humans do.

He’s pretty interested, but he has no money for that.

“Okay! Stand your ground, 60! This pitcher lady will throw you the ball and win the game!” Michaela exclaims as she stands at her place with the ball in her hand, along with the baseball glove on her dominant hand.

“We’ll see about that, Michaela.” 60 replies in amusement as he grips the baseball bat in his left hand before his other hand joins in to hold the bat as he readies his stance.

Michaela just grins as she also readies her stance to throw. 60 is glad for the baseball cap that reduces the glare of the sunlight he’ll get for his ‘eyes’ so he can see well.

“Here I go!” Michaela announces out and throws the ball towards 60.

60 activates his preconstruction program. Hmm. If he hits the ball straight, there’s a chance that the ball will hit Michaela, so that’s definitely a no-no. If he goes a little it to the right, then that chance will disappear and he’ll get a home run, but there’s a 20% chance that the ball will land on somewhere pretty far.

He can find it later, so he chooses the second choice and exits the program to initiates his choice.

He swings his bat a little to the right and hits the ball, letting the ball to fling away pretty high up in the air. He quickly throws down the bat and starts to run toward each bases while the kids are actually cheering on him until he finally reaches the last base and the kids are all run up to him to celebrate it.

They may be playing baseball, but it’s basically just a cheap imitation of the actual game with no real rules. The kids said that as long as they all are having fun, that’s all that matters. 60 can feel the certain sensation that fills his chest and he can’t help but smiles along with the kids.

“That’s so cool, 60! You did a home-run!” Micah exclaims out.

“But I think we lost the ball again.” Clementine comments out as she looks around if she can see where the ball went.

“I’ll go find it, don’t worry. Stay where Jeffy can see you guys, alright?” 60 tells them and the kids nod as an answer. He gently pats their heads as he walks past them to the direction where the ball went. It seems like the ball landed somewhere near the foliage around the park, or maybe got stuck on the tree branch.

He squats down to the shrubs and starts searching for the ball. Based on his preconstruction, the ball flew off around here somewhere. He scans around the place for a while and he eventually found it under the shrubs. It’s a bit dirty, but mostly still intact.

He turns around and actually goes face-to face with three adult men, who he scans them all in a millisecond immediately.

John Roland. Born in September 30, 2008. 32 years old. Arrested for a few times for theft and Red Ice drug usage.

Anthony Millard. Born in May 20, 2005. 35 years old. Arrested for sexual assault and DUI.

Christopher. Born in July 3, 2010. 28 years old. Arrested for animal abuse and Red Ice drug usage.

These three show obvious signs of Red Ice usage, and 60 suspects that these three are about to capture him for his thirium. Thirium is one of the main ingredients for Red Ice, after all.

“How I can help you gentlemen?” 60 asks calmly as he holds onto the ball in his right hand and keeps his eyes onto the men.

“Shut up, you fucking android.” Anthony Millard says in annoyance, “How about you just shut the fuck up and follow us?”

“That way, no one will get hurt.” John Roland adds while Christopher nods with a sick grin.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can’t let you do that.” 60 calmly replies, even when Anthony Millard pulls out a semi-automatic gun that’s pointing at him.

“I said, shut the fuck up and just follow us before I blow your head off.” Anthony Millard growls.

60 isn’t going to do that, so he initiates his preconstruction program to apprehend all of these men without unnecessary bloodshed and immediately applies the construction to apprehend them.

Firstly, he lops the ball up, in which all three of them look at the ball in the air. While they’re distracted, he grabs the gun with his left hand and rips it off from Anthony Millard’s hand. He quickly disassembled it before he kicks Christopher’s knee joint to make him falls off to his knees with his android strength that he can feel the joint cracked as the ball lands onto the ground. He swings his left arm to John Rolland’s neck and hits him there before he kicks his knee with also the same strength that results with a crack to make him falls off. Lastly, he kicks Anthony Millard away in the dead center of his chest with a crack that he flies off a few centimeters backward from the force before he lands on his back.

All three men groan in pain as 60 throws away the disassembled parts of the pistol and looks around. It’s not exactly deserted, but no one really pays attention to them. Which is good, because he’s not asking for people’s attention.

“If you can be so kindly just turn yourselves up to the DPD, which would be a complete convenience for all of us, please do so. That way, you three can get a nice stay in the jail once more.” 60 says haughtily as he takes the ball near his feet. The other three just groan in pain while he just silently watching them.

“Also, I’ve had enough of people shooting me, and I certainly not adding anymore hole in my forehead.” 60 adds as he takes off his cap, showing off the obvious hole in his head to the three before he puts it on again as he takes in their pale faces in delight.

“Now scram before I call the cops. Oh wait, you can’t, can you? Because I just cracked your knees and your sternum.” 60 says as he tilts his head a bit with a thin smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll call up the cop for you guys, so stay here like good boys, gets it? Got it. Good. See you in a moment.”

60 quickly returns to the Captain and the kids, and something feels like have been lifted off from his shoulders as he sees them all fine and playing happily. And when he walks up to them, the kids happily welcomed him and he just pats their heads gently as he approaches the Captain.

“…What’s wrong?” Jeffery asks as he watches 60’s face.

“I got ambushed and I just apprehended them. I might have cracked their knees and sternum to defend myself.” 60 answers honestly and Jeffery’s expression immediately changes drastically from a normal curiosity and concerned expression into a full blown alert.

“Did you get hurt? Any injuries?” Jeffery asks as he stands up to approach the android and 60 shakes his head.

“No. I’m perfectly fine. You don’t have to worry—” 60 stops his sentences as the Captain pulls him into his chest and gets trapped by his big arms.

What…

“Jesus Christ, of course I fucking would get worried. Your light has been red since you returned and you look like you just encountered a ghost.” Jeffery replies in annoyance before he lets go his embrace and holds 60 by the shoulders, “Now _you_ stay here with the kids. I’ll go call backup and cuff the suspects up.” He says before he walks away, leaving 60 stands there awkwardly as the kids slowly approach him.

“60, are you okay? Did something happen?” Michaela asks as she slowly slips her hand into 60’s. He just stays quiet as he slowly squeezes the small hand gently as he sits down on the bench.

“Did a bad guy hurt you? I heard from the news that there’s a serial killer that only targeted androids! Or something like that, I don’t really remember.” Oliver asks.

“…It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m just…” 60 stops his sentences. He’s just what? Truthfully, he doesn’t exactly know what he feels at the moment. Everything happens so fast all at once. So fast that his motherboard is not ready to process it all.

“There, there. Are you scared? It’s okay! Gramps will protect us all! He’s the Captain of DCPD, after all! He has cop friends watching his back!” Micah tells him and gives him a hug, “So you don’t have to worry, because gramps will protect us all.”

“Yeah! Captain is a cool cop, so everything’s gonna be okay!” Michaela adds as she also gives him a hug. The other two kids nod and also join the group hug while 60 feels like something just gets lifted off from his chest and shoulders.

60 just stays silent, but slowly he closes his eyes and slowly tries to awkwardly hold the kids’ arms around him, while his chest is filled with something that decreases his previously high stress level.

The feeling is acceptable to him, and he feels nice with the kids with him.

He likes the feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys want to give me name suggestions, fill me up with it! i'll choose the one that fits our socially awkward android!
> 
> also please fill me up with your scream because i need it to fuel myself


	4. Yellow Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 60's Bad Day™.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not dead! i just returned from family gathering for a week and made me go AFK for that whole week, but i managed to write down future chapters of ABOR, because im bored lmao

In the end, the Android Crime Unit of DCPD came and 60 was asked to give them his testimony for the assault attempt on him.

And he has to face-to-face with 52.

He’s not happy about all of these.

It’s quite an improvement on him for not stressing up when he faced his ‘empathetic twin’, and with a very close length at that too.

52 is looking impeccable as ever, because he’s imperfectly perfect for the humans around him. 60 sees that he’s not wearing the CyberLife RK800 jacket anymore, and his LED is gone. Now, the android wears a normal dress shirt with a tie. Basically still has the same fashion style before all of these messes happen. Except the hair. 52’s hair is wavy, maybe a bit curly too.

How _human_.

“Hello Connor. It’s nice to meet you again. Though the reason why we meet each other again is not really a good thing at all.” 52 says, trying to make a small talk. An ice breaker maybe, but 60 is not having it.

“Just get this over with, Connor. I have no intention to make small talks with you or even _your_ Lieutenant.” 60 hisses out bitterly as he crosses his arms.

“…Right, then.” 52 replies with a polite smile, “Shall we start?”

“Just do it and get this over with. I need to make dinner for the kids and the Captain.” 60 answers sourly. 52 just smiles before he offers his hand to start the memory transfer session through interfacing.

60 is not happy that he has to connect with 52, but it’s faster than manually do the reporting session. Better be fast rather than spend agonizing minutes with 52 and the Lieutenant around. He’s had enough of it by the first second he saw the two of them steps into the park.

52 offers to open a connection other than a normal data transfer with him, but 60 blatantly declines the offer and immediately cuts off their connection once the data transfer is done.

“Wait, 60—“ 52 calls him and about to put his hand on his shoulder, but 60 is not having it.

“Don’t touch me, _Connor_.” 60 growls bitterly as he backs away from 52’s reach. “Don’t get buddy-buddy to me. I have no intention on being your _friend_.” He adds.

“Please, just let me talk for a moment.” 52 says with sad tone, “I just wanted to say that I’m so relieved that you look healthy. I was worried since the day we found you by the dumpster. And when you ran away from the hospital, I panicked.”

“Well, your sentimentality is appreciated, but I don’t need it if it’s from you.” 60 hisses out with a scowl before he thumbs the Lieutenant, who stands from afar and actually watching them along with the Captain, “From both of _you_ , to be exact.” He adds.

52 seems saddened that he’s not giving him any chance, but the RK800-52 is as headstrong as RK800-60.

“I just…I’m sorry. For that night. For not converting you along. For letting Hank—“ 52 is about to continue, but 60 cuts him off.

“ **Stop**. I’m sick of you and that _friend_ of yours, and I’m not interested on listening to any of your ramblings. So save your energy from doing any useless conversation with me because I’m not listening to any of them.” 60 replies and looks away, “Please. Just leave me be.” He adds as he sits down on the bench, looking at the ground as he can hear 52 lets out a small sigh.

How _human_.

“…I’m glad you’re alive, Connor.” 52 says before he leaves, his footsteps slowly getting smaller and away from him.

Good.

Because he’s not spending any more seconds with his _better_ and _more human_ double.

The kids probably like 52 better, because he’s more human and better in many ways. Plus, he’s officially the member of the force too, and the kids adore polices.

It doesn’t matter.

Even so…

Why did he feel a sharp sting over his artificial sternum when 52 calls him ‘Connor’?

 

*******

 

The stings never stop.

It’s been two weeks, and it seems like it gets more painful and travels down to his hands.

He doesn’t know why he feels the sting. He’s an android. Androids don’t have pain receptors, unlike humans. But for some reason, he feels the uncomfortable sensation anyway.

And of course, he hides it from anyone, especially the Captain.

The Captain seems concerned about him, but he stays quiet. 60 is not exactly telling him anything too, so he doesn’t see why the Captain should really care about him.

Plus, the Captain’s been busy and tired with his work.

He knows, because the Captain mostly goes to bed after having his late bath and dinner.

That leaves 60 in the quiet dark evenings in the house.

For some reason, 60 gets a strong urge to remain in his bedroom and stays immobile in his bed, but he pushes it away and keeps doing his usual house chores. He can feel his emotions slowly bleeding out of him and everything seems to look duller and duller every day.

He can see that his stress level is getting higher and higher every day, but nothing really works to decrease his stress level at all.

Not even when the kids come to visit for the week.

Or even when he read books.

Or doing anything at all.

Until he can’t take it anymore and stays inside his dark room on his bed to stare into the darkness that’s illuminated by his red LED.

He stays in his bed all day. Only staring at nothing until he hears his door is opened and let the hallway light pours into the room. Bright light floods in the room when the lights are turned on along with familiar footsteps approaching him.

“You’ve been in your room all day, haven’t you?” Jeffery asks as he slowly sits down on the bed next to 60. “Nothing moved since this morning I left for work until I came home.” He adds.

60 stays silent. He’s not in the mood to talk. In fact, he doesn’t want to do anything. He just feels numb and tired. His stress level in on steady 84% for the whole day. He doesn’t know what time is it. His chronometer already messed up since two weeks ago, and today the chronometer is completely glitched up.

Why did he feel like this?

He hates it.

Why did he become a deviant?

He wants a full refund.

“Do you want to talk about it? Or tell me anything at all? The kids are worried about you, you know.” Jeffery says calmly as he gently puts a hand on 60’s shoulder and rubs it.

He doesn’t know the reason why he should tell the Captain anything at all. But he knows that if it’s about emotions, asking the Captain, who is a human, is the best course of action. Humans deal with emotions every single day since the day they were born, so maybe asking the Captain is a good idea.

But he doesn’t have any strength to open his lips and start talking.

He wishes he can connect to the Captain’s phone wirelessly and talk to him that way.

But he can’t, because he never connects with the Captain’s phone and it sucks.

“…Come on. Get up, I’ll help you.” Jeffery says as he pulls 60 up gently. 60 just let the Captain manhandles him and presses his hand against 60’s forehead as he just stares at the wall emptily. “I’ll go get your drink. You’re heating up.” The African-American man continues as he stands up and leaves the room.

Heating up?

60 checks his system and his internal temperature. Apparently he unconsciously turns off his breathing system and his coolant fluid is low. He still hasn’t been able to order coolant fluid for these two weeks. It’s not exactly crossed his mind at all too.

He pulls his knees up and slumps down into his knees. He rubs his stinging sternum and slowly scratching it. Despite of him not feeling anything, the stinging pain is still definitely real and it hurts.

Why does he feel this way?

When the Captain returns, he’s holding a medium sized clear tumbler with blue colored drink and other stuffs inside and offers it to 60.

“Here. I bought you thirium ice drink. There’s a new café that opens near the precinct and they also sell thirium drinks for the androids. Drink it. I don’t know if you can taste it, but the barista said that it’s sweet. It’s not much, but maybe it’ll brighten up your mood a bit.” Jeffery tells him.

60 just stares at the drink before he slowly takes the drink from the Captain’s hand. He can feel the chilling sensation of the drink from the padding tips of his fingers, and it feels a bit welcoming to him. The Captain sits back down by the edge of the bed next to him, observing him silently and patiently.

Slowly, he brings the wooden straw of the drink closer to his lips and sips the drink.

…

…It tastes like nothing but chilled thirium to him.

Somehow, he feels a strong urge to throw the drink to the wall and scream.

But he can’t, because the Captain bought it for him, in hope it makes him feel better.

Pathetic.

He can’t even be grateful for the man’s kind intention by thinking on throwing the drink against the wall. He can’t even be grateful for the chilled thirium for his overheating chassis. He can’t even be grateful for the Captain’s action on still remembering him and trying to make him feel better.

_Pathetic_.

“…I’m sorry, but I can’t taste anything. My tongue doesn’t have the artificial taste buds or an upgrade file for my programming to ‘taste’.” 60 softly replies with trembling lips, somehow his voice box glitches up as something fluidic fills up in his eyes and makes everything blurry. He closes his eyes as the fluid trails down from his eyes and he catches a glitch with his breathing cycle.

He’s crying again.

_Pathetic_.

Androids aren’t supposed to cry. Why did he cry? Just because he can’t experience taste? He’s so dramatic. He’s pathetic. He’s so pathetic. He hates it. He hates himself for it. Why did he get activated again last year? Why didn’t he stay dead? Is this his punishment for being a failure? Is this his punishment for being a machine? Is it his punishment for not being like 52? Is this his punishment for not being empathetic like 52? Or as ‘amazing’ as 52? Is it his punishment? Is it? Is it? Is it?

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Just cry it out. Don’t hold it in. Come here. There, there. It’s okay. You’ll be okay. Let it out. Let it all out.”

60 sobs out as he curls his arms around Jeffery, who returns it and hugs him close. He grips over the shirt as he buries his face into Jeffery’s chest. Gentle and warm big hands rub his back and the back of his head.

“Why does everything hurts?” 60 wheezes out, “Why do I feel like this? I don’t understand. What’s the meaning of all of these?”

Jeffery stays quiet, but he never stopping his hands motion against 60’s smooth chassis. He keeps his embrace and never let go. Not even when 60’s stops crying because his coolant fluid actually ran out and they just stay there holding each other for a while. Who knows how long, but 60 doesn’t exactly care as he just stays there and listens to Jeffery’s steady heartbeat.

“How are you feeling?” Jeffery asks softly after a while.

“…I don’t know.” 60 replies dejectedly, “Everything hurts and I feel like…like I’m not good enough for anything and nothing matters anymore.”

“Where did it hurt?” Jeffery asks as 60 pulls away from the embrace to put a hand to his sternum.

“It hurts here. It really hurts. Why do I feel this way, Jeffy?” 60 asks, “Androids are not supposed to feel pain. We don’t have pain receptors. How can I feel pain, Jeffy? I don’t understand.”

“…That’s what is it like being alive, 60. We question a lot of things that aren’t supposed to happen, but it still happens to us anyway. We never understand, but all we can do is just accepts it and live through it.” Jeffery answers, “But we learn how to deal with it through time with other people that experienced the same as us. Sometimes it hurts, but there are also times where it feels nice. Comforting and safe, I suppose.”

“What do ‘safe’ feels like?” 60 asks as he feels the rumble of Jeffery’s chest when he hears Jeffery hums to think. It feels nice. Comforting, maybe.

“It feels like you’re engulfed in something that makes you relax and open. It’s like you’re opening yourself up, and you don’t feel threatened by it. It’s something like that, I suppose.” Jeffery answers.

“Like when the kids say that you’ll protect us from bad guys?” Jeffery laughs heartily at that question and 60 feels like he’s more at ease when he hears it.

“I suppose something like that, but do you feel safe when they said that I’ll protect you lot from bad guys?” Do 60 feels safe? Maybe. He feels fine before he heard the kids said that, but…it feels nicer when the kids said that.

“…I think so.” 60 replies, “But that doesn’t explain why I feel stinging pain on my artificial sternum.” He adds.

“Since when did you feel it?”

“Two weeks ago. After meeting with…Connor and Lieutenant.” 60 answers a bit sourly when he thinks about those two.

“What do you feel about Connor?”

“…I don’t know.” 60 answers honestly, “I feel like…like he’s better than me in every way. He’s more human, he’s more empathetic, he’s more human, and the Lieutenant likes him better because of that. That’s why he shot me dead because I’m just his cheap imitation.” He explains softly.

“But here I am. Alive and well. Activated back from the dead as a broken heap of tool. Useless and broken. Unlike Connor, who’s all prim and imperfectly perfect.” The android adds, “…Why do I feel this way, Jeffy? What is this emotion I feel?” He asks.

“That sounds like jealousy to me, 60. You’re jealous because Hank chose him over you and left you. It’s one dangerous emotion that can drive people do something just for the sake of their ego.” Jeffery answers, “But it’s not wrong to feel that way. We all experience envy at least once in our lifetime. As long as we can handle it and not succumb to it, that feeling will slowly go away.”

“I know. But I hate it. Why won’t it stop? Why do I feel like compared to him, I’m just a small pebble while he’s the nugget of gold? Why do I feel like he’s judging me? Why do I think that he pities me? I don’t understand.” 60 argues, “Knowing him, he’s probably just do what he thinks is the best course of action. I know, because we’re both have the same memory. But I hate it. Why do I feel that way? I don’t understand.”

There are many things he doesn’t understand. Why Connor cares enough to talk to him? Why did he apologize? What does the apology for? Why does he hate seeing Connor with the Lieutenant? What did he do wrong? Why every time he did something, it’s not good enough?

“Sometimes, we humans also have things we never understand too, 60.” Jeffery calmly tells him, “But most of the time, we just go along with it and just learn how to understand. Sometimes it’s a fluke, other times it’s a success. Just like a basic percentage you always said for chances, say, when you cook something in a certain way and how it affects the end result.”

“Being human is not all about desire to many things, but also how to reason and restrain ourselves from such desires. When you drink that thirium drink earlier, you look like you’re about to explode in anger, but you restrained yourself from succumbing into it and just cried by the end.” He adds as he gently rubs 60’s back.

“…I just don’t want to upset you. You tried to cheer me up by buying me that, but I can’t taste anything but thirium. I just don’t have the right biocomponent for it.” 60 replies, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Jeffery asks as he grabs the thirium drink from the nightstand and offers it back to 60. He accepts it and finds comfort from the cold.

“For worrying you and almost throwing the drink to the wall.” 60 answers and Jeffery just lets out a laugh.

“I worried about everything every day. Adding you into the pile is not a big deal for me.” The man replies in amusement as he gently pats 60’s head. “And you didn’t throw the drink in the end, right? I think that’s all that matters.”

60 just nods silently and slowly sips the drink. Despite of him not able to taste, he still needs thirium to replenish himself. Maybe one day, he can get upgrades so he can try a lot of things that humans seem to find comfort on.

“How’s your tears?” Jeffery asks teasingly.

“I’m out of tears.” 60 replies and thinly smiles when Jeffery chuckles.

“I guess we should really give you that upgrade, shouldn’t we?” Jeffery points out, “How about we deal with it this weekend? Sophia told me this morning that the kids aren’t coming this week because she and the twins are going to celebrate Mark’s birthday. How’s that sound?”

“…Are you sure? Android upgrades don’t seem to be cheap in the pocket.” 60 asks and Jeffery just pats his head.

“If I don’t have money to burn, I wouldn’t suggest it in the first place, would I?” Jeffery replies.

60 just silently look at the African American man’s eyes before he slowly leans down to the man’s shoulder. He rests his head there and thinks that Jeffery can easily push him away, but the man just gives 60 a half-hug and gently rubs his plastic arm.

It’s comforting.

He supposes this is what the kids said that it’s safe if Jeffery is around.

…Maybe this way, he can open up a bit more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for all of my fellow screamers, thank you for your screams for this rare pair! <3  
> you always manage to wake me up with a smile and i love you all <3<3
> 
> but please keep screaming to fuel me so i can keep going!


	5. Green Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his outburst, 60 slowly gets the rejuvenation he deserves, along with feelings he catch along the way.

In the end, getting upgrades and/or repairs are not as easy as it sounds.

Because there’s been a case where some androids are ‘upgraded’ in some android centers, where instead of actual upgrades, they were put a deadly virus and messed with them from the inside, Jeffery insisted on getting the upgrades for 60 in a trusty place.

The case was off for a few months by now, but 60 doesn’t really mind. He also doesn’t want some strangers touching his circuitries with their filthy hands. He never really get anyone touch his circuitries since his activations, so this might be his first time letting strangers touching his insides.

He wonders what it’s like to feel everything like humans can.

He’s a bit…excited for it, actually.

When Jeffery announces that 60 will get his upgrades and repairment at the android hospital this weekend, 60 can’t exactly hide his anticipation and joy.

60 also tries to talk more to Jeffery about whatever he was feeling at the moment. Jeffery seems happy that he opens up and eases down around the man more. Sometimes Jeffery asks 60 how’s he’s feeling, and by now, 60 manages to answer it slowly, but it’s enough for Jeffery.

The stinging pain on his sternum slowly dissipating away the more he talks to Jeffery about what he felt at the moment. It still hurts, but it’s duller than days earlier. Sometimes the urge to stay immobile in his bed is still lurking around in the corner, but he manages to not letting the urge win over to make him stay in bed all day.

60 usually escorts Jeffery out when he’s off to work and welcomes him when he returns, but for some reason, 60 has the urge to hug Jeffery before and after work and he always did it. He just likes the contact, he supposes. It feels nice and comforting. Plus, Jeffery’s big and 60 easily slots in against his arms.

Jeffery was confused for the first time it happened and asked 60 what’s wrong, but 60 just replied that he just wanted to hug because it feels nice. Then Jeffery never questioned him again and just returns the hug instead.

60 realizes that he might be addicted by any form of body-contacts.

Maybe Jeffery is right about him being touch-starved.

“…Are you uncomfortable of me being touch-starved?” 60 asks one evening, while in the middle of their evening routines on watching the television until it’s time for bed.

“Not really. You’re still learning about yourself, so might as well just indulge yourself with it. I don’t mind with body-contact.” Jeffery answers casually.

So there’s that.

Days passed, and weekend is finally arrived.

And 60 can feel his artificial heart is beating faster and his pump regulator is heating up a bit every minute they drive closer to the hospital.

He’s pretty agitated by this, but he’s not scared. Jeffery says that he’ll be there for 60 until everything is done. His heart fluttered when he heard that, and he couldn’t help but feeling shy all of a sudden. It feels like his chest is going to implode, but he retains his neutral face.

He’s pretty sure that Jeffery spots his flickering yellow LED, though. But the human said nothing.

Somehow, he’s been getting these…feelings towards Jeffery and minor errors in his system since his outburst. Mostly, he did self-scan, but the errors resulted to be inconclusive. He’s confused at these feelings, but it’s a pleasant feeling and he decides that he really likes it.

60 peers out from the car window, watching the moving view outside and rest his head to the window. Summer is around the corner, and somehow he’s a bit excited for it. He doesn’t know why, but he’s excited for the season to come.

When they finally arrive at their destination, 60 is anxious about it and almost hesitant to enter.

Not only it’s the same hospital he ran away from, but also the fact that he’ll get his complete repairment at the hospital he ran away from sounds like an ironic and weird story of his life.

But he can’t back off now.

Jeffery managed to book an appointment for 60 since the night of his outburst, and he’s pretty sure that Jeffery spent a lot of money for it.

True enough, some of the nurses in the hospital seem to recognize him and talk to each other while glancing at him. There are human and android employees alike, and the ones that seem to recognize him are looking at him with an intrigued look. Possibly because Jeffery is with him, along with the fact that 60 doesn’t look like a hobo and half-dead this time.

He doesn’t like the attention he’s been getting since he first stepped into the building, but he has to endure it until he’s summoned.

After waiting for a while, it’s finally his turn.

And much to his demise, Jeffery is advised to not accompany 60, because he’s human and the early procedure is going to be classified from anyone outside the ‘doctor/technician’ and the ‘patient’. He was about to protest, but he thinks better of it. Jeffery seems also has the same thought, but he just gently pats 60’s head to assure that everything’s going to be okay.

“Here, take my phone. Just ring the DPD if shits happen, okay?” Jeffery says, giving 60 his phone and 60 immediately connects to it through interface.

“Okay.” 60 replies as he’s holding tightly on the phone before he enters the ‘doctor’ room.

The room is a normal office-like room. 60 thought that there will be the maintenance machine in it, but no, there’s only an examination chair on the other side of the room. It seems like it’s an examination chair for androids, as there’s a connector for connecting to the android’s main processor via the cable at the back of their neck, just like the maintenance machine has.

Maybe the machine has its’ own special room, as it’s pretty big and a small room like this one can’t accommodate the size of it. There’s also a shelf with tools for android’s small repairments inside, and also some small-sized android components.

The ‘nurse’ that summoned him smiles reassuringly at 60. The ‘nurse’ is an android, so 60 can sigh in relief for that. Apparently, the ‘doctor/technician’ is a licensed android technician and actually a human. And the good news is that the technician is a pro-android.

Apparently, the first procedure is just talking about his android model and filling in forms for the right biocomponents for the body and new updates for the AI, and now he understands why Jeffery is not allowed to join. There are some biocomponents that might cause uneasiness for humans, so it’s better for them not knowing at all.

Despite his model being just an advanced prototype, all of his biocomponents are made from the start. Of course, being a replaceable android model, he’s not made to last long. The RK800 line is just prototypes, and he’s pretty sure there will be the upgraded version of their model, if it’s not around already.

There’s an option for customizing the android’s skin too.

Fuck yeah.

And speaking of the forms, there’s an option if the android wants to add a sexual feature too, just like the Traci models. The technician says that if 60 wants to add the feature but doesn’t know which genitals he should choose, they can apply a removable pelvic plate with compatible ports to most artificial genitals and 60 himself can buy one based on his preferences.

60 isn’t that interested on that, but he ticks on the removable plate option anyway.

Just in case.

After filling in the form, he and the technician are talking about repairment. The technician and the assistant are both horrified by the bullet hole, but they calm down pretty soon and checks on it. After a few minutes of sitting on the examination chair to check both his cranial circuitries and his system by connecting directly to the main processor, the technician said two main problems with him that 60 already expected.

The first one is that his memory motherboard is indeed damaged, but it’s pretty easy to replace with a new one that’s compatible with his model. The second one is that the cable that lets him to connect wirelessly to the net is completely severed, but not the one that lets him wirelessly connects to the electrical appliances, so that’s the main reason why he can’t connect to the internet.

The technician tells 60 that he can fix it in today’s session as they have the compatible components for him, or just do it in the next session along with the upgrades. If he wants to do it now, then they can do it and also cauterizes the bullet’s entrance and exit wounds.

Now, he definitely needs Jeffery’s advice.

But he can’t. This is a choice he has to do by himself.

“If you can do it now, then I’ll accept.” 60 answers and the technician gives him an assuring smile at him.

“Don’t worry. If you’re too nervous, we can do it in the next session all at once with your friend accompanying you.” The technician tells him, “If you want to have the repair now, we can call your friend to accompany you and informs him about it.”

“It’s okay. We can do it now, but can you please call him?” The assistant nods and exits the room, leaving 60 with the technician.

“Still, how did you get a bullet hole in the first place?” The technician asks.

“Someone shot me. Was shut down for hours before I got activated again.” 60 answers with a shrug.

“You’re lucky that it mostly missed the important parts in your central processor. If not, you’ll be dead for sure.” The technician says with a smile.

60 doesn’t know what to say about that, but when Jeffery enters the room with the assistant behind him before Jeffery sits down beside him, somehow he understands what the technician means.

Also the technician is giving him a knowing look somehow.

“I suppose.” 60 replies softly. The technician just chuckles while Jeffery seems confused why he is summoned and a bit alarmed on seeing 60 got connected by a big cable on the back of his neck.

The technician calmly explains everything to Jeffery, while 60 just waits silently until the technician is done explaining. Jeffery is thinking about it, which seen from his serious expression and body gesture before turning to look at 60.

“Are you sure about it?” Jeffery asks. 60 nods as an answer.

“It’s okay. I can’t feel pain, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 60 adds to assure the man, but Jeffery still looks worried.

“I think taking it slow is a good choice. That way, if there’s a problem after this, we can check on it again next week.” The technician says with a smile.

“…If he’s okay about it, then I trust his judgment.” Jeffery replies, “But I’m not going anywhere.” He adds.

“Alright. Now 60, I want you to relax and put yourself into stasis. Are you okay with that? Or do you want me to do it?” The technician asks him.

“It’s okay. I’ll do it myself.” 60 answers and the technician nods.

“Alright. We’re still connected with your processor, so we can still keep an eye on all of your systems for any implications while we fix you. See you in a while, 60.” The technician says with a smile.

60 stays silent. He activates his stasis protocol and slowly closes his eyes.

 

*******

 

60 opens his eyes.

As he looks around, he’s confused by this.

It’s the garden.

But the garden is not vibrant and artificially beautiful like before.

No, it’s unmaintained and very much dead.

Why is he here?

The garden should be CyberLife’s ‘graphic interface’ for him to report to them. But his connection with them is pretty much severed once he got shot in the head and became a deviant.

So why…?

Even so, he cannot sense anyone in the garden.

Not even Amanda.

Just him.

…Maybe the technician that’s fixing him actually unintentionally fixed it along.

60 walks around the dead garden, looking around calmly.

Everything in the garden is dead. The trees are dead. The grasses are yellow and dry. The lake is very murky. It’s very silent, save from his bare feet footsteps against the paths. Many dead leaves are scattered around, covering the cracking ground and the dead grasses. The paths are cracked and dirty, but the bridge is still the same as he remembered.

Slowly, he crosses the bridge.

The rose trellis is still there, but the roses are all dead and dried-up. There’s no one on the lake island but him.

He crosses back the bridge and walks around again.

Until he reaches the graveyard.

There are three gravestones, standing tall and unaffected by the chaos around them.

The first one is for Connor-51. Activated and deactivated on August 15th, 2038. He doesn’t really remember what happened to the model, as that certain memory was not transferred along to him. Possibly because it’s irrelevant for his first and last ‘mission’.

The second one is for him. Connor-60. Activated on November 10th, 2038. Deactivated on November 11th, 2038. This one is actually glitchy, possibly because he returned back from the dead with the very same body.

The last one is…

“Amanda.” 60 reads. He crouches down and gently puts his hand to the surprisingly cold gravestone.

The gravestone only has Amanda’s name on it. No date of death. Nothing. Just a plain gravestone with her name on it.

Somehow, he feels like he’s been stabbed in the chest.

With blurry eyes and tears drip out to the dry leaves under him, he silently mourns for her.

 

*******

 

“Are you okay? 60?”

60 turns to look at Jeffery, who gives him a concerned look.

“I’m functional, Jeffy. If that’s what you’re wondering about.” 60 answers distantly as he continues on cutting the vegetables.

“You know that you don’t have to keep the machine act, right?”

60 stops his hand as he scowls at that question, but he stays silent as Jeffery continues.

“You know you can talk to me if anything is bothering you.”

“I know.” 60 replies.

“You’ve been silent since your repairment an hour ago.” Jeffery continues, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“But you won’t understand on this one.” 60 snaps and continues on cutting the vegetables, “No one can.” He adds.

“Try me.” The Captain challenges as he leans his against the kitchen counter, watching 60’s scowling face that’s directed to him calmly.

“…No.” 60 says as he finished cutting the vegetables and puts them into the pot. “You won’t understand, and I’m not planning on telling anyone about it.” He adds firmly.

Jeffery just watches him silently as 60 puts in other ingredients into the pot and stirs the stew slowly. They stays silent like that until Jeffery lets out a sigh and walks toward the fridge, grabbing himself a cold soda and drinks it while 60 scowls at that.

“You shouldn’t drink that. It contains 700 kilocalorie and 120 gram of sugar.” 60 warns and Jeffery just shrugs, which makes the android scowls deeper. “It’s not good for you, Captain.” He firmly warns again.

“It’s not good to keep it in yourself like that too, you know.” Jeffery replies with teasing look and continues on drinking the soda, much to the android’s chagrin.

How did the soda get into the fridge is a wonder to 60. He’s the one that’s in charge on the foods and beverages in the house. How come a can of blueberry soda manages to slip through him anyway?

“Please stop teasing me, Captain. I told you it’s none of your concern.” 60 says with a sigh, but Jeffery just raises one of his eyebrows, not convinced by the android’s words.

“I think mostly about you is my concern now.” Jeffery replies as he puts the soda on the kitchen counter, his eyes never leaving 60’s. “Now tell me, unless talking is not what you want.” He continues.

What does he want? Talking is not an option, because he doesn’t really want to talk about Amanda at all. But at the same time, he knows he’s not doing well. But he still doesn’t want to talk.

“…Can I not talk about it?” 60 asks softly as he looks away and starts on picking his nails.

“You can.” Jeffery answers calmly, “But talking it out will make everything a little bit better. Or do you just want to hug it out?” He asks as he spreads open his arms.

60 looks at Jeffery and the temptation. He stares for a moment before he approaches and rests into the embrace. He just sighs and closes his eyes, resting his head on Jeffery’s shoulder as Jeffery just curls his arms around him.

He doesn’t get it.

Why physical contact does always managed to calm him down?

Why can’t he resist from seeking it?

Why Jeffery is okay with this?

He doesn’t understand.

Being alive is weird.

So many questions, yet so little answers.

For example, he doesn’t understand why he is feeling sad when he saw Amanda’s grave.

“…I hate being a deviant and not understanding something. I want a full refund.” 60 grumbles unhappily. Jeffery chuckles at that, letting 60 to feel the vibration of Jeffery’s chuckle in his chest through his chassis.

“Come on, it’s not that bad. Sometimes we get bad days, but we’ll also get good days. That’s part of being alive. We don’t understand anything, but along the way, we’ll understand it in the end.” Jeffery says, gently rubbing and patting his back.

“For how long until I understand it?”

“No one knows. Maybe it’s tomorrow, maybe in a year, maybe in a decade. But you’ll know when you finally get the answer for your question.”

60 stays quiet, but he slowly curls his arms around Jeffery and sighs again.

If that’s the case, 60 wants to get the answer as soon as possible.

In the end, 60 decides to tell Jeffery about everything. About his attitude towards Connor and Hank, about the Zen Garden and especially about Amanda.  The man silently listens to him. His eyes are always on 60 as the android is telling him his tales.

Jeffery is holding his hands as he talks. Sometimes giving him a reassuring squeeze, sometimes circling thumbs against his white chassis, and sometimes just holding his hands. 60 really appreciates the silent gesture. He can feel Jeffery’s steady heart rates and knowing that calms him down.

It’s also a miracle that he’s not crying this time.

Jeffery just gives him a hug as he finally finished his tales, which is very appreciated because he doesn’t really need verbal reassurance. 60 just softly sighs as he wraps his arms around the man. It feels very comforting and nice. Safe and soothing. It makes him feel…alive?

60’s artificial heart beats steadily as he scans Jeffery’s steady heartbeats before he closes his eyes.

Alive and safe.

 

*******

 

Because he’s a special model and also an advanced prototype with advanced AI, the biocomponents will have to be compatible with his whole chassis structures and AI, so they have to be made from the beginning using the CyberLife’s advanced 3D printer. Of course, it’s all more expensive than just using normal compatible biocomponents and will take longer to ensure that it will not give problems to him later.

So, his actual upgrades will happen in the next two weeks.

60 isn’t too happy that he needs to wait a little bit longer, but he tries to be patient anyway.

Plus, he still doesn’t have a name, and Jeffery says that he’s going to get his citizenship after he get his upgrades AND a name. 60 can easily search for names through the internet now, but he already promised the kids that they’ll be the one that suggests it to him and he’ll pick one from them all.

So far, the kids already give him plenty name suggestions, but he still hasn’t get that connection with any of the names. Jeffery said that he should choose a name that 60 thinks it’s a name that fits him in every way.

60 thinks that the number ‘60’ fits him, because he’s not human and just a model of RK800 androids models, and he’s also the last model of the line. He’s wondering that maybe because most of the names are human names and because he doesn’t feel like a human, he doesn’t get the emotion that the names are supposed to be giving him like humans get.

Maybe he just needs convincing, because he thinks that none of them fits him.

“What are you doing?” Jeffery asks when he just walks out from shower and 60 looks up from his notebook. Jeffery smells like honeysuckle. Or what it should’ve smelled like, but the android still can’t properly smell anything, just analyzing it.

“I’m writing down names the kids suggested for my name. I still can’t choose any of them despite they’ve been suggesting 102 names for me.” 60 answers and turns back to the notebook. “I don’t know why, but I can’t choose any of them. There are so many choices, but none of them giving the same…’emotion’ as ‘60’ does.” He adds with an air quote. He learned that from the kids and he likes that human gesture.

Jeffery hums as he pulls a chair to sit next to 60. Somehow the small approximate distance between both of them makes 60’s artificial heart thrums a little bit faster and giving him urges to get even closer, but he stops himself from doing so.

“You also wrote down their meanings?” Jeffery asks in awe, “You’re into this, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I find that writing down things is nicer than noting it inside my head. It also decreases my stress level, so I don’t see bad things from doing it. It is quite unfortunate that there are not many papers anymore for me to use.” 60 replies as he gently trails the tips of his fingers over the paper.

“Yeah, well, you can blame the humans for that.” Jeffery chuckles as he gently takes the notebook and reads it. “The kids gave you nice sounding names, the meanings are also good. What makes you feel like you’re not feeling up the name?” He asks as he turns to look at 60.

“I…I can’t see myself in any of the names.” 60 admits shamefully as he slowly picking his nails nervously. “I’m neither ‘brave’ nor ‘sent by the God’. I’m neither ‘graceful’ nor ‘kind’. I’m also neither ‘From Colt’s town’ nor ‘water’. I don’t understand how you humans can ‘feel’ it just by the knowing the meanings that makes no sense at all.” He continues before he shakes his head.

“I’m grateful for the kids’ suggestions, but you humans sure are weird on coming up with the names, based on their meanings.” 60 adds in pure confusion and Jeffery laughs out loud at that before draping his arm around 60’s neck and pulls him closer to the Captain.

60 can feel his artificial heart thrums faster than before and his body temperature is rising thanks to that. His chest is filled with…something that makes him feel very full and hard to breathe a little. It feels like his chest is going to implode.

He really likes the full sensation in his chest.

It makes him feel…alive.

“That’s human’s weirdness for you, 60. Why don’t I pick one that I think fits you wholly, you’re okay with that?” Jeffery asks and 60 immediately nods that the human chuckles at the android’s eagerness. “Aren’t you eager? Don’t worry. We still got plenty of time until your upgrades and citizenship.” He adds as he pats and rubs 60’s shoulder.

60 only can nod silently again this time, suddenly feeling shy and very happy at the same time.

It’s alright.

Jeffery is here with him.

He can open up more.

He’s safe and happy with Jeffery.

He feels…alive and safe.

Maybe...being alive really is not a bad thing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it came out long! i got busy with college and exam is coming! but i will end my stories as soon as i get free time!
> 
> until then, feed me with your screams and make me swim in your scream!


	6. Salmon Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the awaited day for 60's upgrades, together with more feelings he catches along the way around Jeffery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXAM IS FINISHED
> 
> NOW I CAN
> 
> WRITE MORE FANFIC
> 
> im so happy to be finally free

A week before getting his body upgrades, 60 was summoned by the hospital for his ‘skin’ customization. It was weekday, and Jeffery was about to take a day off to accompany 60, but 60 told him that he’ll be okay going there by himself. Plus, he’s not a child, he’s an android with an appearance of a grown man in his early 30s, he can go to the hospital by himself.

So Jeffery in the end agreed to that and today 60 is off to the hospital by himself.

He’s a bit nervous, but he knows he’ll be okay.

60 sits down by the waiting room. He looks around and sees both androids and humans are mingling with each other. Some are looking sad or serious, some are talking and smiling, and others are neutrally ignoring each other.

He doesn’t really care about androids and humans’ relationship with each other, in all honesty. 60 thinks that he’s sitting here right now because both races are fucking up with each other and he got caught up in the middle of it, but he stays quiet on that.

He only cares about the kids and Jeffery, because they saved him and makes him feel alive.

They gave him a ‘home’ to go back to, and he thinks that’s all that matters.

When 60 is finally called, he nervously fixes his sweater’s cuffs as he follows the same assistant from last week. It’s nice to know it’s the same assistant from last week. It gives him the reassurance he never know he needed until he saw the assistant.

This time, not only the technician is here, but also an AI programmer to code his new skin and applying new features for his AI safely. 60 and the technician are talking about his skin customization and new features for his AI, while the AI programmer is noting things 60 is saying.

The technician asked him what he wants for his new ‘skin’, and when it’s done, the programmer can safely applied it to 60’s AI along with the new features today and then 60 can return home and do whatever he wants to do.

60 is thinking pretty hard about this part since yesterday.

Obviously, he wants his skin to look nothing like 52. He’s fine with his face structures are the same like him, but he wants to look different. Maybe looks less like 52. 60 managed to discuss it with Jeffery, but the human said that he can look like whatever he wants and Jeffery said that it won’t change their friendship even though 60 looks different.

So he did.

60 tells them what he wants for his new skin. He’s been collecting references for his new skin. He wants to be different. He wants to be…himself. He doesn’t want to get associated with Connor. He doesn’t want to look that close like Connor.

He wants to be different and feels like himself.

The programmer keeps on noting on what he wants for his new skin before asking that if 60 wants it to be permanent, or he wants to freely change it. 60 firmly wants it to be permanent. He already made up his mind, and he doesn’t want to change it anytime soon.

Then he asks 60 if he wants his hair to slowly grow out, just like humans do. Hmm. If that’s the case, then when his hair is a bit longer and when it’s summer, he can fit in by pulling it up into a small ponytail.

It doesn’t give him any benefits other than pure aesthetic, though. He can’t exactly feel external temperature, but able to fit in with the humans seems nice, so he tells the programmer to let his hair grow.

As the programmer gets enough info, he asks 60 to connect directly to his main processor by sitting on the examination chair. 60 silently complies and the technician gently connects him with the cable as the programmer checks on his entire AI structure.

The assistant approaches him and reassures him that it’s going to be okay. 60 knows that. He’s just nervous, not scared. These three are trustworthy anyway. The programmer seems to be neutral on these ‘androids being alive’ bullshits.

In the end, he has to be put into stasis to decrease any problems when the codes are installed into him. 60 just complies and closes his eyes to enter stasis mode.

Only to opens his eyes and finds himself back in the garden.

It’s quite strange, if he thinks about it. After his first check-up, he tried to enter the garden again while in stasis, but he couldn’t access the program. It was not stable enough for his AI to enter, so he didn’t push further because he doesn’t want to have errors with his AI.

60 decides to walk around the place.

Again, it’s still very much dead and empty. Again, the graveyard and the gravestones are still there. Again, only the sound of his bare footsteps and crinkling dead leaves under his feet are heard. Again, the trellis and the dead roses are still on the island of the lake.

Somehow, rage builds up in him.

So he lets it consume him.

He screams out. He rips the dead roses away. He throws the trellis into the murky water. He throws the chess pieces away. He throws a chair across the island with a loud crack. He throws the other chair to the broken boat. He slams the oars against the cracking floor. He cries out.

He cries and cries for what seemingly like hours. He screams and screams for what seemingly like hours. He cries and screams until his voice bank glitches.

60 doesn’t know why he did it all.

He’s just filled with rage and sorrow that he just needs to do something to channel it out.

Frustration. Anger. Grief. Desolation. Betrayal. Heartbreak. Confusion. Anxiety.

Everything is stirring up inside him and he can’t handle it all inside.

Slowly, he lets out a weak sob.

Then everything goes white and he opens his eyes.

 

*******

 

Now that 60 finally can connect to the internet, he was thinking on taking a hobby. He gets bored pretty fast if he doesn’t have any more to do. The house is always been clean and the one that eats and change clothes very often is only Jeffery.

Jeffery says that he can use his money in his bank account as long as 60 is responsible with the money. Of course, the android doesn’t have any intention to spend the Captain’s hard-earned money. Heck, he should be trying to repay Jeffery for letting him wastes his money just to fix and upgraded him.

Even so, he still hasn’t got his citizenship yet, so working somewhere illegally is a no-no.

60 keeps on glancing towards the empty garden lot. Jeffery said that his wife used to garden before she died. Jeffery never took gardening as a hobby or picked it as one even after his wife died, as he doesn’t have a green thumb like his wife had. He told him if he wants to, he can take care of the empty garden lot.

Maybe he can take gardening as his new hobby. What kind of plants should he grow? Maybe herbs? Or flowers? Vegetables? Berries? Succulents? So many kinds he can grow yet the plot is not that big for all of them.

Maybe he can also make it seasonal? He can try. Jeffery said that nothing is impossible unless you gave up.

He’ll try to know more about gardening using the internet one day.

Since he returned from the hospital two days ago, he’s been staring at the empty garden a lot. He doesn’t know why, but maybe he just misses the Zen Garden and Amanda. 60 still can’t freely enter the garden when he puts himself into stasis, but that’s fine by him.

It’s not like he can do anything about the garden, anyway. The garden is very representation of his past, he supposes. Dead and empty. Depressing and pitying.

But now.

Now…

60 tries to change for the better.

He already chosen one name that kind of resonates with him, but he’ll keep it in until it’s time. Same goes with his new skin. He still hasn’t turned his new skin on and shows it to Jeffery, but he holds it off until he gets his upgrades. Like a surprise, he supposes.

Yes. He wants to surprise Jeffery.

He doesn’t know why, but he just wants to.

Despite Jeffery already told him he’ll still see 60 as a friend even though he looks different, but 60 is afraid for Jeffery’s reaction.

He doesn’t know why, but he thinks that Jeffery’s future reaction is everything to him.

What is this? Devotion? Obsession? Loyalty?

He doesn’t know.

But it feels just like what he felt for Amanda, but it feels much…deeper.

Oh well. He might know it one day.

“60, is it true you’re going to get upgrades next week?” Clem asks, eyes wide with anticipation and excitement.

“That’s true. That means I can eat whatever you guys are eating too. For example, like chicken nuggets and pizzas.” 60 replies with a smile and the kids are all cheering out happily.

“Yes! Chicken nuggets are great! You’re going to love it, 60!” Oliver exclaims out excitedly.

“Oh, but how about your name? Have you chosen one already?” Micah asks and 60 nods with a smile.

“Ooh! What will it be, 60? Can you tell us?” Michaela asks.

“Now, if I told you guys, it won’t be a surprise, will it?” 60 replies, “I want to surprise Jeffy too, and if I told you guys, it won’t be a surprise anymore because you kids tend to tell Jeffy everything.” He adds teasingly.

“No we won’t tell him anything this time! Can you please tell us?” Michaela asks with a puppy dog eyes.

“You know that your puppy eyes won’t work on me, Michaela.” 60 smiles as Michaela grumbles unhappily about that.

“Then can you give us some hints? Just a small hint is okay! Pleaaaase!” Clem begs with her hands clasps together and giving him a kitty cat eyes.

“Your kitty eyes won’t work on me too, Clem.” 60 replies with an amused smile as Clem pouts unhappily at that. “I’ll tell you guys on our next meeting two weeks from now. How’s that sound?” He suggests and the kids immediately agree to it excitedly.

“You gotta tell us, okay? Let’s do pinky promise!” Micah says, offering his pinky and the others follow him.

60 just smiles and intertwine their pinkies together as the other joins in.

“I promise.”

 

*******

 

Today is the day.

The day he gets his upgrades.

60 is anxious.

The technician and the assistant are all reassuring him. Jeffery is always by his side as the four of them walk towards the maintenance room. He holds the human’s hand from the time the stepped into the hospital to all the way there, and Jeffery is thankfully did not complain. The Captain just gently squeezes his plastic hand as a silent reassurance.

Of course, his anxiety is nonsense.

Androids can’t feel pain, only errors windows filling up their HUDs. Jeffery is also here to accompany him from start to finish. He will watch over 60’s maintenance, so nothing unexpected will happen. Thankfully, the technician and the assistant understood and let Jeffery to observe the procedure.

“It’s okay, Jeffy. I’ll be okay.” 60 tells Jeffery as the technician connects him to the monitoring computer.

“Are you telling me that to calm me down, or to calm yourself down?” Jeffery asks.

“Both of us, I suppose.” 60 replies with a sheepish smile. Jeffery just lets out a breathy chuckle in return and gently pets 60’s skinless head.

It feels very nice and 60 really likes it.

And the feeling of the inside of his chest going to implode is also feels nice.

It’s always like that if it’s about Jeffery by now.

And every time, he’s confused and wondering on how is he going to deal with it, but every time he dismissed it for later.

Maybe some other time.

“Are you ready, 60? Just lay down comfortably is you’re ready.” The technician says.

“I’m ready.” 60 immediately replies and slowly lays down on the ‘operation’ table. It’s a special maintenance table for androids, as there’s a hole for the main connector on the table.

He’s also fully naked, as clothes will get in the technician’s way to do his upgrades. Jeffery seemed a bit embarrassed on seeing him fully naked, but 60 just intrigued on why is that. It’s not like he has anything under his pants.

Maybe because of decencies.

Heh.

The assistant takes Jeffery back to the ‘observation room’, which is basically just a small room with a huge glass window to watch the maintenance going. It was usually used for android engineering students to observe the ‘operation’. The technician kindly explained it to them before, and 60 really appreciated it.

“I’ll put you into stasis mode, alright, 60? We’ll see you soon.” The technician tells him with a smile and 60 just closes his eyes.

And opens his eyes again.

Just like the other two last meetings, he returns back to the garden.

Only this time, the garden is not as dead as before.

No, this time, the garden is as beautiful as the garden he knew from before he deviated. Artificially beautiful and artificially alive. As he walks around to know more, he sees something that’s not supposed to be in the garden.

No, there’s someone new that stands by the island of the lake.

An RT600.

The same RT600 that Connor almost shot in the head last year.

“Hello, Connor. It’s nice to see you again.” Chloe greets with a warm smile. 60 twitches when she calls him ‘Connor’.

“I’m not Connor, and will never be like him.” 60 growls, but it didn’t faze Chloe at all as she just smiles wider.

“I see. If that’s the case, what’s your name?” Chloe asks as she approaches him.

“60…No…my name…” 60 hesitates a little.

Is it alright to name himself now?

No.

He promised to the kids to tell Jeffery first before the kids.

He has to keep it to himself for now.

“Yes, just call me 60 for now.” 60 continues and Chloe tilts her head a little bit curiously.

“For now? Are you thinking on getting an actual name?” Chloe asks and 60 nods. She giggles softly as she strides over the rose trellis, gently pokes on one of the rosebuds.

“I’m getting my upgrades now, along with my citizenship sometime after the upgrades.” 60 answers, “But…why are you here, Chloe? What did you do to the garden?” He questions, looking around the island. The chessboard and the chairs are back on the island, as if 60 did not completely destroyed them by the last time he’s here.

“Well, when Elijah took CyberLife back, he cut all of the intact Connor models’ connection with CyberLife’s interface. Of course, Connor-52 also got the same treatment.” Chloe starts, “But it seems you slips through our hands, as no one thought that the model that’s supposedly deactivated suddenly connected to the CyberLife’s interface system.”

“We noticed it a little bit too late, and before we can digitally disconnect you, you exited the system. The second time, we also weren’t ready for your mental state and we cannot do it either. And by the time you’re finished on your outburst, you were disconnected with the system again.”

“So we tracked you down and voila! Here I am.” Chloe ends with a wide grin. 60 just watches her neutrally and she pouts a bit at that. “Come on! Show us some kind of reaction!” She complains.

“So you fixed the garden’s system?” 60 asks and Chloe sighs, but nods anyway.

“We did, but this time we’re going to give you the very permission to initiates it yourself if you want to. Of course, you cannot connect to the CyberLife’s interface system, just the Zen Garden program.” Chloe explains, “You can automatically initiate the program once you enter stasis mode, or you can enter it manually. The garden is yours to use, and you have full control over it. How’s that sound?”

It sounds like a good idea to 60.

That way, he can freely enter and exit the garden.

That way, he can freely visit Amanda’s grave.

…Honestly he doesn’t know what else he can do with the garden, but it’s a good idea nonetheless, so he obviously accepts it.

Maybe he can decorate the garden with anything he wants.

“Oh, and from what we managed to get from the signal you emitted through the connection, you were seemed in a great distress in the last two, but you seem in a good mood this time. Care to tell us about it?” Chloe asks in interest.

But 60 is not in the mood to talk about his current condition, so he decides to change the topic.

“How many of you are there?” 60 asks, changing the topic.

“You know, there is just one of me.” Chloe answers.

“What about the other two androids? The ones in the pool?”

“Oh, them? They seem to be doing great. We’re still in contacts, but we have our own lives to build.” Chloe answers as she strides her bare feet to one of the chairs by the chessboard, “Come play with me until it’s time for you to go.” She adds with a smile.

60 complies silently and they play chess for a while. They also chatted while they were playing. 60 asks Chloe about her life, she answers on her tiring life dealing with CyberLife’s messes while Elijah was busying himself with the media.

Then she asks him about his life.

He just tells him that now he lives with Jeffery and how his grandchildren and their friends are friends with him. How Jeffery helps him with his newfound life. How Jeffery took him in and cares for him. How Jeffery is as a person that cares for him.

Mostly just about Jeffery.

60 doesn’t know why, but talking about Jeffery makes him happy.

“You look happy when you talk about the Captain.” Chloe points out, exactly like what he thought.

“He’s a kind man. He’s a friend. I like him. Of course talking about him makes me happy.” 60 answers back, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. But when Chloe gives him a wider smile, it confuses him a bit but Chloe didn’t say anything.

And just like that, the topic changes and they keep on playing for seemingly like hours. After several wins and loses between the two, Chloe decides to end the game.

“Well, that was really fun.” Chloe says as she stands up and stretches up. Huh. She’s very human-like. Androids don’t need to stretch, but maybe deviants can, so they can appear more human.

Maybe he should try it too someday. Mimicking Jeffery, perhaps?

“Yes, it is pretty fun.” 60 agrees before he feels a pull on his whole being and Chloe smiles.

“I suppose your upgrades have finished. You’re being pulled out from the program.” Chloe points out before she gently asks him for an interface by silently offering her hand, skin slowly receding.

60 accepts it, a little suspicious but she just giving him her personal ‘number’.

“Let’s try to hang out someday, 60.” Chloe says.

“…I’ll try.” 60 replies.

And just like that, she pulls her hand away and he opens his eyes.

 

*******

 

“Welcome back, 60. Did you get a nice dream?”

60 sits up and turns to look at the assistant’s kind expression. He stays silent as he slowly moving his fingers and toes. He notices that his skin is still deactivated, which is appreciated because he wants to show his new skin to Jeffery as a surprise later.

“…I suppose so.” 60 answers and the assistant just smiles in reply as she gently disconnects the big cable from his neck port.

Then the assistant tells him the new features he got and how it basically functions. Now 60 can consume foods and beverages, but it’s not that necessary to make him keep going. Unlike humans that eat foods and beverages as their fuel, androids’ main fuel is still thirium, so 60 still has to consume thirium for him to keep going.

The foods and beverages he consumed will be processed inside him very thoroughly that nothing is left inside him but the food’s grout, with no smell whatsoever. 60 can manually discards it if the process is done.

So it’s basically like human’s defecation system, but better.

The liquid, however, will travels through his bloodstream and will stay that way until a certain amount of time.

60’s tongue has taste buds now, so he can taste anything that’s shoved into his mouth. He’s been excited about that one. Now he can taste that fucking thirium drink from weeks ago and not crying over it like a baby just because he can’t taste.

And his cranium chassis is actually got replaced by a new one, so there are no cauterized scars over his cranium.

Good. He doesn’t need any more reminders for it. Better be gone than scarring his new life.

Also nothing changed to his smooth pelvic plate and his LED. Good.

The assistant gives him a hospital gown to wear after he’s done checking himself out in the mirror and tells 60 to come with her to where the technician and Jeffery are. 60 just nods and turns back at his reflection after he wears the hospital gown, staring at himself before he brings up his hand to his LED and decide to activate his new skin.

As the skin finally activated successfully, he nods to his reflection and follows the assistant.

He’s very nervous.

He can feel every step is heavier and slower than before, despite he knows that his steps are same pace and distance. But he knows he’ll be alright. He can trust Jeffery. He’ll be good under Jeffery’s care. Jeffery won’t betray him.

It’s a high expectation, but he just hopes his expectation won’t stab him in the back.

He knows that he’s too dramatic sometimes, but…

…It’s okay.

He’ll be alright.

“Are you ready to show yourself to your friend, 60?” The assistant asks him as she holds the door handle.

“…I’m ready.” 60 replies and she nods before opening the door for him. From inside, both the technician and Jeffery turn their heads to look at him.

60 keeps his eyes on Jeffery, as the middle-aged man slowly widens his eyes while looking at him up and down and up again to look at the android in the eyes. 60 picks his nails nervously as he scans Jeffery, who actually gets an elevated heartbeat pattern and his blood mostly travels up to his face.

Moderate amount also somehow travels down to his genital, for some reason.

Jeffery lets out an awkward small cough as the technician gestures him to sit down next to Jeffery, which 60 follows and shoots Jeffery an anticipating look. The middle-aged man looks at him and gently pulls strands of hair away from his eyes to behind his ear.

Somehow, that reassures him a lot and heat gathers up to his already red cheeks.

That contact makes him light-headed for some reason.

He can feel that his heart is beating so hard and thirium is rushing so fast in him.

Oh, how happy he is at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngh our robot baby is in loooooovee but hes dumb so he doesnt know that
> 
> feed me with you screams that will make me scream too and fuel me up


	7. Blue Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 60 realizing his feelings for Jeffery, and thinking on how impossible it is for him to compete against the man's late wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been wanting to write this 13127612246 years ago and i finally get to do it and im so happy to do it

The first thing he did in the morning after his upgrades and getting a good rest last week is checking himself up in the mirror.

And even after a week pasts, he will still checking himself out every morning.

He gotta say, he does look…different.

A nicely different.

That programmer really did a great job on coding his new skin.

60 brings up his hands towards his face and pushes away his messy bangs behind his ears.

Because he asked the programmer to make him completely different from Connor the ‘Deviant Hunter’, he really did look different from 52. Unlike 52’s pale skin, his skin is olive colored. He chose the skin color because he looked at Jeffery and how he prefers darker skin color compared to lighter one or even purely white like his chassis.

Plus, fuck 52 and his vampire skin color.

The second thing is his hair color and hair style.

Last time he saw 52, his hair is still the same dark brown color and wavy/curly hairstyle. He actually likes his default hair color, but he doesn’t want to look at himself but also see 52 on his reflection. So he decided to take an extreme leap of faith for his hair by coloring it platinum blond with messy straight hair and bangs that’s parted onto the right, which is a complete opposite of 52’s.

…It’s a great contrast to his olive skin color, actually.

Plus, he has almost same hair color as Oliver.

Thirdly, new ‘features’ to his physique.

Michaela has freckles on her cheeks, Micah has a single mole by the corner of his eye, and Clem has beautiful russet eyes. The kids are important to him, and each one of them has special physical feature on them.

So, he adds the three of those features to him.

…He really likes the end result.

Because he looks like the complete opposite of 52, and a mix of the kids.

Smiling to himself happily, he did not realize that Jeffery’s been looking at him by the door with an amused expression and 60 jumps up a bit in embarrassment when he realized it. He can feel himself overheats a bit and resulting his cheeks to bloom red.

“Not to interrupt your morning checking out, but the kids are here and they can’t wait to see your transformations.” Jeffery tells him.

“I’ll be right there.” 60 replies quickly as he turns around to look at Jeffery, who caught him red-handed.

“Don’t keep them waiting then. They’re really eager to see you that they almost trampled up the stairs to your room the first they stepped into the house.” Jeffery adds and 60 just smiles thinly in amusement, imagining the kids trampling his room.

“…Do you think they’ll like it?” 60 asks nervously as he turns his head back to the mirror.

Just like when he showed himself to Jeffery last week, he’s very nervous on how the kids will react. Will they like it or hate it? Will they still want to be his friends or not?

If they didn’t, he’ll probably be heartbroken.

He just hopes they’re at least okay with it.

“…I’m sure they’ll love you no matter what. I know them for a year and they’re good kids. Everything’s going to be fine, okay?” Jeffery tells him, “Or do you want me to wait for you to get ready so we go meet them together?” He offers.

60 looks back at Jeffery silently before he turns to look at his reflection by the mirror again, who looks back at him with the same blank stare.

It’s alright.

He’ll be alright.

“…Can you wait for me?” 60 asks and from the mirror, he can see that Jeffery smiles at him gently.

“I’ll wait outside.” Jeffery answers as he closes the door, leaving 60 to get ready by wearing proper clothes and not a pajama.

After 60 is properly dressed, they both walk down the stairs to the living room. He can see the kids’ talking to each other as he unintentionally hides behind Jeffery, but he quickly refrains himself to hide.

“…Hello everyone.” 60 greets the kids, who turn their heads to look at him and their expression turn into an awe before they sprint up to him with happy faces and he crouches down to be their heights.

“Woah, 60, is it really you?” Micah asks first and gently touches his hair.

“The one and only.” 60 replies with a smile.

“You look great, 60! Oh! You have freckles like me!” Michaela points out happily as she touches his freckled cheeks along with hers.

“And Micah’s mole, Clem’s russet eyes, and Oliver’s platinum blond hair.” 60 adds as he points on each one of them, his chest blooms in relief as their expressions show no resentment toward his new look.

“Well, you look great, 60! I love your new look!” Clem says and Oliver nods with a big grin.

“Yeah! You look different, but a great one!” Oliver adds.

60 smiles sheepishly as he can feel his cheeks are reddening from the praises he gets. His chest feels like it’s going to explode on how happy he feels.

But not just his new appearance is revealed for the kids and Jeffery today.

“Are you ready for another surprise?” 60 asks with a smile.

“There’s another one?” Oliver asks before the girls seem to know what it is.

“Ooh! Is it your name?” Michaela asks and 60 nods with a smile.

“Oh! Ooh! Tell us, tell us!” Micah says excitedly.

60 smiles at the kids’ obvious excitement and glances at Jeffery, who just calmly watches them by the sofa.

It’s okay.

He’ll be okay.

He closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly before he opens his eyes and smiles nervously.

“Hello, my name…is Raphael. It’s good to see you guys this week. How was your week, everyone?” 60…no, Raphael asks them.

“It’s great, uhh…Rafael! We did a school project together and we did great on it!” Micah answers.

“Oh yeah, Rafael! Our teacher gives us an A on it. It was awesome!” Michaela adds happily.

Oh, they can’t say ‘Raphael’ properly. That’s fine by him, they’ll learn to do it properly one day.

“What’s your name means, Rafael?” Clem asks in interest,

“It means ‘God has healed’, and one of seven archangels’ name. Might be a religious name for me, but I like the name.” Raphael answers, “I’m not religious, nor I believe in God, but someone else did heal me.” He adds and glances at Jeffery before quickly looks back to Clem with a blush as the middle aged man looks at him with a questioning look.

“Oooh! Tell us who it is, Rafael!” Clem says enthusiastically as the other kids get closer to him with the same curiosity.

Now, that question actually flusters him, but he still answers it anyway.

“It’s Jeffy. He saved me months ago and healed my wounds. I’m very grateful of him so healing me, so picked the name to honor him.” Raphael softly whispers it to the kids with red face, who all immediately look at Jeffery, who’s reading a magazine before feeling eyes are on him and looks back at the kids with a questioning look before the kids look back to Raphael.

“Is it about the holes on your head?” Micah asks softly.

“Yes, and for healing my entire self into what I am now.” Raphael answers, but the kids are confused by his wording that it flusters him on how to explain it to them in a simplest form. “So…it’s something like I never felt safe and happy before I met Jeffy, but now I feel very safe and happy with him taking care of me.” He slowly explains and they eventually understand with a soft ‘Ooh’ respond.

“So you really like him, right? That’s why you both are friends.” Michaela says, “That’s how I feel about my family and my friends too!” She adds.

Well, he does like Jeffery and it seems like that the feeling is mutual, so that’s probably why they’re friends.

“Yeah. I suppose so.” Raphael agrees before Micah turns his head to Jeffery.

“Oh, Gramps! Let’s go to the aquarium! I wanna see the fishes!” Micah says and Jeffery brings up an eyebrow.

“The aquarium? Why do you want go there?” Jeffery asks.

“C’mon gramps! We should take Rafael to the aquarium and show him the fishes! I bet he never see how cool the fishes are in the aquarium.” Micah answers with his hands on his hips.

“Yeah, Captain! Let’s go to the aquarium with Rafael!” Michaela adds happily.

Aquarium, huh? True, he never really goes anywhere that requires money to enter. He’s pretty interested with plenty public places, like the aquariums and the museum, maybe the theater too. He’s curious on the aquarium more though.

Jeffery glances at Raphael, watching his silent eagerness expression before he lets out a sigh and a defeated smile.

“Alright, alright. You guys don’t have to give me such intense stare. I already bought the tickets two days ago, so we’re still going to the aquarium anyway.” Jeffery says and the children are cheering out before they’re running up to the front door.

“Come on, gramps! Let’s hurry up and go! I wanna see the sharks!” Michaela exclaims out excitedly.

“Calm down, young lady. I need to grab my car keys in my room.” Jeffery replies as he stands up from the sofa.

“Oh, I’ll go get it. You should wait with the kids.” Raphael immediately says. Jeffery looks at him for a moment before nodding.

“Alright. Keys on my nightstand.” Jeffery says.

“Got it.” Raphael replies as he slowly makes his way upstairs to Jeffery’s room.

He slowly opens the door and enters it. Just like the first time he entered the room few months ago, the room is tidy and clean. Jeffery never really gives him an actual permission for Raphael to enter the room for cleaning, but he did tells him to leave it be and let him deal with his room’s mess.

So he did.

Even so, Raphael is curious on how Jeffery’s whole bedroom setting is like.

So far, the whole setting is just like the rest of the house, with the same wall color as the rest of the house. A nice window next to the king-sized bed, an old wood wardrobe across the bed, and two nightstands on each side of the bed and night lights on each nightstand.

On one of the nightstands, he found Jeffery’s car keys along with a photo frame of his late wife.

Raphael stares at the photo and slowly takes it so he can see it closer. He can see a beautiful Caucasian woman, smiling to the camera with her pearly white teeth. Her smile greets him like the morning sun, while her tan skin welcomes him like the sands by the beach. Her eyes are emerald colored, just like a green flash sunset you see by the beach, with crow’s feet by the corner of her eyes. Dyed blonde hair frames her heart-shaped face perfectly well.

He scans the photo.

_Hyacinth Fowler. Born on April 14 th, 1983. Died on November 11th, 2034._

Jeffery’s late wife.

Sometimes, he wonders what kind of person she is. Jeffery said that she was a lovely yet a fierce woman. She died of cancer in her 50s. Raphael asked about her months ago, where Jeffery is not happy about, but he still told him with a somber expression on his face.

Jeffery said that he still loves her, but Hyacinth told him to move on and live his life to the fullest, even after she died.

Raphael feels a single familiar sting deep in his chest, but it disappears as soon as it comes. He carefully puts back the photo and grabs the keys before exiting the room and returns back to the others.

“Here you go, Jeffy.” Raphael gives Jeffery the keys. He thanks him and locks the front door after they all exits the house and into the car.

The ride to the aquarium is very lively. The kids are all excited for what kind of fishes they will be seeing and what kinds of fish is their favorite. Raphael is quiet on their journey, eyes looking out from the window, watching the roads and buildings went by.

His mind drifts away back to Hyacinth Fowler’s photo. He wonders what kind of person she is, if she’s still alive and well, living in the house with Jeffery instead of him.

Will his fate be different if that’s the case?

Maybe.

It’s such a shame. He would love to meet her and talk to her if she’s still alive. She sounds like a nice and kind woman.

After around half an hour drive, they finally reaches the aquarium.

SEALiFE Michigan Aquarium is pretty packed by family and couples. It’s not a rare sight, as its weekend. There are humans and androids around, which is quite a sight for Raphael. Apparently there’s a new exhibition in the aquarium, which is android sea lives.

Sometimes he wonders if animal droids could be deviants, too.

He wonders what will happen if that’s the case. Maybe another revolution, but with animals instead?

Animal droids doing a revolution. It sounds a bit unreal. Like straight out of a sci-fi movie or a comedic cartoon.

Then again, that’s what humans anticipated before the Android Revolution broke up last year, so maybe it’s not really a fantasy, he supposes. Even the humans already anticipating about robots invasion way back before androids exactly exist, just normal appliance machines.

Humans are weird, but he’s still drawn to one, or several of them anyway.

After a while of waiting, they’re finally allowed to enter the aquarium.

The first thing that comes across his mind is the place is beautiful. The place is dark, yet each tank has their own light that illuminates each of them. The light reflects in the water in the tank and over the aquatic animals inside.

It’s a bit crowded with people, but it didn’t bother him at the moment.

The kids go nuts when they finally enter the place. They all go to each aquarium one by one together before pointing at each the fishes inside enthusiastically and start talking about the fishes to Raphael.

Jeffery warns them to always stay close to him and Raphael, or at least one of them. They just replied with a ‘Yessir!’ without actually looking at the middle-aged man and only at either the fish tank or the android.

Raphael listens to their chatter with a patient smile as he scans the fishes in each tank. The first area is for freshwater fishes, and the first fish he scans is a male _Trichogaster lalius_ , or a Dwarf gourami.

Apparently this fish was given by a girl named Emma and he’s her favorite pet fish, based on the information board.

A beautiful fish, he can say.

Raphael presses his palm against the aquarium as the fish glides slowly in the water. Their eyes meet for a brief second before the fish swims away, but never strays far from the android’s sight for some reason before the kids pull him away to the next tank.

Jeffery is just silently watching them and stays by their side as they move from one tank to another. Sometimes he quips up about the fish with a laugh to the kids, which make them quips back in slight annoyance. Raphael just watches it with amused smile before they finally enters the seawater area.

Unlike the freshwater, the seawater area is much bigger and with more tanks, each one with different animals inside. The whole area is even darker than the previous one and illuminated by small lights from each tank, which makes each tank looks clear and beautiful.

When they enter a big circular tank, Raphael widens his eyes a bit in awe as he sees the fishes are swimming along the moving water in the tank while lobsters are at the bottom. The tank is illuminated by deep blue light and reflects over them all.

It’s…beautiful.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been looking at the tank. Maybe a few seconds, maybe a minute. He gently places his palm over the cold tank. His eyes never pull away from the breathtaking sight before him.

Raphael senses Jeffery’s eyes on him and he turns to look at Jeffery, who stands right next to him and watching him.

Slowly, he smiles gratefully at the Captain before thanking him for taking them all here.

Jeffery widens his eyes before he clears his throat sheepishly and gently pets Raphael’s hair, pushing the strands right behind his ear. The android can feel his heart is pumping his blood faster in him, along with his face slowly warming up.

No, not just his face, but his whole body is slowly going aflame.

Jeffery’s warm hand stays by the side of Raphael’s face for a little while as his calloused thumb strokes the apple of his cheek before the kids are calling them and Jeffery pulls his hand away to check on the kids.

Raphael stands still for a moment before he notices his reflected LED is glowing brightly of pink and he’s blushing so hard that the reflection of his face is glowing purple.

Spotting that, he quickly overrides the systems on both so they quickly return to normal. After that, he quickly gathers back with the others.

The day keeps going as usual, but Raphael feels like everything feels slower and almost to a stop.

But by the end of the day, everything goes back to normal, yet Raphael still can feel Jeffery’s warm touch on him.

It’s suffocating him, yet not at the same time.

 

*******

 

“So, how was your life after your upgrades last month?” Chloe asks him as she stirs her thirium milkshake.

“It’s nice, I suppose. Nothing really changed other than I can drink and eat just like the others.” Raphael answers and sips on his cappuccino, “How about you, Chloe? How’s your work?” He asks back.

“Elijah is taking a week off. He’s going to Hawaii next week while leaving CyberLife under my care.” Chloe replies with a tired sigh, “How’s your relationship with Captain Fowler?”

His cheeks slowly redden and his eyes drift away shyly.

“…Aah, I see.” Chloe smiles understandingly with a nod and sips her drink.

“What? What do you see?” Raphael asks, “I don’t know what the meaning of all of these and I can’t exactly ask Jeffery about it.” He points out in frustration and she giggles.

“Well, fill in the gaps first before I give you the answer I think you need.” Chloe says as she rests her chin on her palm in interest.

So he does.

Slowly, he tells Chloe about the aquarium, about what Jeffery did that day, how he felt from that day until now, and how are they both acting with each other that day until now. So far, not many noticeable changes are seen or noticed by Raphael.

They’re still friends and nothing really changes, other than the changes inside him. How his feelings and heart beats are running amok when he’s around Jeffery and it’s pushing him to do things that friends shouldn’t really be doing. For example like, watching the Captain to sleep until morning comes and listening to his heart beating for 55-60 times per minute.

At least, it doesn’t seem like what friends would do.

…Honestly, he doesn’t exactly know what friends do to each other when they live under the same roof.

Of course, he searched for it online, but none of the results gave him the answer he needed with his turmoil and it left him frustrated for hours.

But a month later, he still hasn’t got the answer he needed.

It’s not easy to hide it from Jeffery, the Captain of DCPD, too. He’s too sharp and smart. He’ll notice Raphael’s weird behavior soon enough. It’s a miracle that the Captain didn’t spot it for a month, but he doubts his luck will stay by his side for a little while longer.

Chloe giggles softly after she listens to his rants and Raphael pouts unhappily at that.

“Oh Raphael, you’re so clueless, aren’t you?” Chloe comments out with an amused smile, “Tell me, what do you think of the Captain? Not as a friend, but as a person.”

“Well, he’s a great man. He’s kind and smart. He’s a great friend and leader, as he’s been looking out for his colleagues for years and especially the Lieutenant. He’s a great father and grandfather for his family. And he cares a lot about me, while I never have anything to repay his kindness.” Raphael starts.

“He’s a handsome man that seems hardened and stern, but he’s just thinking the best for everyone and maybe a bit underappreciated by his colleagues. Under all of those, he’s just a simple man that wants the best for the people around him, and I think that’s what interesting and what I like about him.” He continues.

“…Well there you go. I think you found your answer.” Chloe concludes and Raphael gives her a complete confused look, with knitted together eyebrows and a frown. Chloe rolls her eyes for his confused expression. “You like the Captain, don’t you?” She asks.

“Well, yeah.” Raphael answers, with a silent ‘duh’.

“Well, there you go.” Chloe finishes and sips her drink.

“…I don’t understand.” Raphael replies.

“How do you feel around him?”

“I feel like…like I’m going to drown in the deep sea. Suffocating. But at the same time it makes me feel alive. I feel like I wouldn’t know what I would do without him. Like, I care a lot about him and I want him to be happy.” Raphael continues, “But I know that it’s not healthy if I give up from living the life he tries to show me if he’s gone. According to my memory from 52 about the Lieutenant, I know that it’s not healthy. But still…” He trails off as Chloe silently watches him.

Despite everything, he doesn’t really want to badmouth or spread the Lieutenant’s problem or even badmouthing 52 that bad. 52’s memory in him about the Lieutenant gives him a soft spot over the middle-aged man, while 52 is like a distant brother. Despite of him feeling betrayed and all, it’s not like the Lieutenant can help it to not shot him or 52 letting him shot ‘60’ because he himself was scared to die.

52 is his real friend, not ‘60’, the cheap imitation of 52 that threatened to kill them both just because ‘60’ is scared of being compromised by CyberLife, and getting another disappointed look and comment from Amanda if the Revolution succeeded.

Chloe gently squeezes his shoulder and rubs his shoulder in understanding with a comforting smile. Raphael just smiles back as he places his hand over Chloe’s in appreciation. It’s a miracle that he’s not crying when he thinks about those two and how poor his past choice was.

If only he deviated before he arrived at the Lieutenant’s home…

“Well, it sounds to me like you really care about him. I think it’s safe for us to conclude that whatever he did to you, you wanted to do the same to him.” Chloe nods understandingly, “Yeap. I believe you love him, Raphael.” She concludes with a smile.

…Love.

Raphael doesn’t know how to react to that.

Huh.

That’s…

…Huh.

“…Is that how…’love’ feels like?” Raphael slowly asks, as if he’s asking a stupid question and ready to get smacked on how stupid it sounds.

“Well, it’s different for person to person.” Chloe starts after she finishes her drink, “There are plenty types of ‘love’, you just have to know how to differentiate between each one of them and find the type of ‘love’ you feel for the Captain. At least that’s what I know from the literatures.” She continues with a smile.

Raphael stares at her face neutrally before he looks down to his now cold cappuccino. He thinks about how his body and mind reacts when he gets too close to Jeffery or vice versa. He slowly trails his thumbs over the cup’s rim before finishing his drink.

“Thank you for accepting my request and sparing your time to hang out with me today, Chloe. I know you must be busy with CyberLife.” Chloe giggles as she waves her hand to dismiss it.

“I should be the one that thanked you, Raphael! You took me away from headache for a cup of joe and nice afternoon talk. I couldn’t be even more grateful that you consider me a friend enough to talk about your personal life.” Chloe says with a warm smile and Raphael tilts his head a bit in slight confusion.

“But you’re a delight to have, Chloe.” Raphael points out and Chloe chuckles in amusement before pinching his cheeks with a coo and he softly yelps.

“Oh, aren’t you a charmer, you adorable lad. It’s good to know you appreciate my presence here, Raphael, but flattery won’t get you my heart.” Chloe says and ruffles his hair up affectionately.

Raphael pouts a bit and tries to fix his already messy hair with a soft grumble while Chloe just softly giggles.

 

*******

 

Tomorrow, August 8th, is Jeffery’s birthday.

Now that the man is fast asleep, Raphael can start on making a small birthday cake for Jeffery.

It’s a good thing that the baking mixer is the latest silent one, so the noise won’t stir Jeffery from his sleep. Plus, it’s going to be a surprise. What kind of surprise will it be if it got revealed out halfway through?

He never tries to bake a cake before, so this is his first time baking a cake.

According to the recipe he got from the internet, it should be pretty easy if he just followed along the steps. Sometimes following the available instructions for things is easier than actually making everything from scratch.

After he puts all the ingredients on the kitchen counter, he ties back his bangs into a small ponytail from obscuring his vision and disturbing his work, and starts to work on the batter. After he’s done with the batter, he puts it into the pan carefully and puts it into the oven as he sets the heat and timer manually.

As Raphael waits for the batter to bake, he cleans up the dirty utensils he just used quietly and sometimes checks on the batter slowly baking before deciding to read a book he found this morning while waiting for the cake.

It’s an old romance novel, and it seems to belong to Hyacinth.

Hyacinth seemed like a romantic woman, or she just had likings toward romance genre. Based on the movies in the television, plenty of them have romance, romance-comedy, or drama genre. And from what he gathers from watching Jeffery, the middle-aged man likes action genre more than drama genre, so it must be Hyacinth’s genres of choice.

As Raphael flips the pages, a single photo is tucked nicely between two pages. He takes the photo closer to him and notices that it’s an old photo of a smiling Jeffery and Hyacinth in their early 20s in a white tuxedo and white dress. Based on the dates of the photo by the corner, it seemed to be Jeffery and Hyacinth’s wedding day.

Slowly, he flips the photo over and sees two different handwritings on the back that say ‘Till death do us parts’.

…Ah.

It’s Hyacinth and Jeffery’s handwriting.

He supposes they both really were deeply in love with each other, huh.

And just like that, Raphael slowly tucks back the photo into the book and puts the book on the coffee table as the familiar sting on his chest blooms out and he sighs in defeat, gently rubbing the sore spot.

…He can’t really compete with her, can he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry, my loves, the next chapter will be overly sweet that we all get toothache
> 
> ...maybe lmao
> 
> come scream at me and lets scream together for these two!
> 
> (also i think there will be a chapter or two before this ends! gosh im so excited! this is gonna be my first finished work! yay!)

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me for rare pairings not getting enough love and how we need someone to feed it to us
> 
> also please feed me with your screams because i need it to fuel myself
> 
> Be friends with me on Twitter!  
> (18+. MINOR WARNINGS)  
> @eriapril3


End file.
